I long to unite in the deepest union with Him in the Eucharist. I long for the Mass. I long for Thee, oh God. My every moment, I join as I did to You December 15 under the cross, where I felt Your presence. You whisked me away, and I was totally absorbed in that moment of celestial union with You. For that time, I existed only in You, in the deepest union, and I was in this moment existing in You. The earth stopped, and I touched the heavens, all my bodily cares were existent in You. I existed in Your Divinity, my being was in You. There was no desire or wish or wanting, for in that moment, I had all I wanted in You. I was satisfied and wanted nothing but to remain in that embrace. You were the Being, and my being existed in You, but I was only as I was in You - merged in You, knowing and being in Your Divinity and being so full as to feel complete in myself.

    You are so enormous, and You surrounded me in a burning embrace, the presence of red fire. I was not little, or "nothing", but existed in this enormous power and being so complete!

    I touched eternity, and in that embrace, I knew all the waiting was worth the glory. You enveloped my being, and I was truly merged in the Divine Presence. I was merged in Your being. I existed IN You, with You, in the highest union with You, although I knew I was still distinct from You.

    I was fused and absorbed in You, feeling complete and satisfied. To describe this union is far beyond any work of my pen and paper. I pray for the reader of this page to receive the grace to share this experience with Him, I will now live for this union-to be forever merged In Him, to be One in Him, to reach higher perfection as I exist in Him, for He takes the lowly and gives to them a sharing in Himself. He merges with us and we exist in Him. The word "in" - I could write pages about. I long for the deepest union with Him, where I am swept up in the heavenly embrace of the Divine God, and I am IN Him.

    This is heaven on earth: to be merged as one with Divinity, although remaining distinct from God, to take our feeble hearts, our lowly status and to unite ourselves with the Divine, Almighty, powerful God and in this union to be meshed with Him, that His power dominates and our humanity reaches its heights of fulfillment in this union, in this oneness with Him.

    The word I have looked for is "oneness." I understand some of the meaning of the words "One in Him." Oneness is the word to describe this union of our humanity with His Divinity. The depth to which we could meditate on oneness with God is incomprehensible. In that moment, the earth stood still, and He, my Divine Lover, the Bridegroom of my soul, took me to Himself, and I knew the embrace of the Divine God.

    Nothing on the face of this earth can describe our union with Divinity. Oh, good God, that creatures are so ungrateful regarding Your divine love. I am so sorry. Let me help make reparation to Your adorable Heart. Please unite with me now that I may more deeply love Thee.

    Oh, Divine Lover of my soul, let me help make reparation to Your adorable Heart for the neglect and indifference against You.

Song from Jesus: I come to you with greatest love. I am your loving Savior. I am your God. I died for you. I come to you this day.

    He allowed me to experience such pain in my heart - wanting Him so badly, so many times-and then on Dec. 15, 1995 - He gave Himself to me in the deepest union.

    Nothing satisfies the soul but Him. He wants the nuns and priests to love Him. He chose them to spread His love.

    Souls are hungry. They will only be fed with His burning love. Priests need to talk about Jesus' love for us from the pulpit. Priests need hearts burning for love of Jesus. This will feed the hungry souls - lip service love doesn't do it.

    He is alive today. He is a Person. He wants us to love Him.

end of December 17, 1995

December 18, 1995

Excerpt from the Mass Book

IN THE DEEPEST RECESSES OF HIS HEART

    The place Jesus took me was into the deepest recesses of His Heart. I was enveloped in His burning love. It was a red room with heat and an intense glow. I was swept away in this embrace, and I only existed in Him. The power of the Almighty God enveloped me, and I only existed in Him. There was no fear, for I was existent in this Almighty Being. My heart was wrapped in the eternal embrace of this Supreme Being. The security, the power I know was His deep presence in which I existed.

    I knew the room was red and warm. I knew His immenseness, but I felt my own completeness in Him. I did not feel little, as a speck, but elevated and empowered for I existed then in Him in a most special way.

    I was overtaken by the love of God. The fire of the Holy Spirit filled me. I was absorbed by the love of the Father, and I existed IN Him and in the deepest recesses of the Heart of Jesus. Our heaven on earth is these inner chambers of His magnificent Heart - the Heart of the Almighty God, with all the power, with omnipotence, with the fire of the love of God. He took me to the deepest chamber of this fiery Heart, and in that moment, I touched eternity, for I knew what it was to be enveloped in the deep furnace of His love. I now want to exist in this chamber of His Heart, swept away in His burning love, absorbed in my every cell with His love.

    We do not understand the fire of His love. We do not understand what it is to be absorbed by love itself. He took me to the inner, deepest chamber of His Heart, and I felt the heat and knew the presence of love itself, and there was no fear, only a feeling of completeness, omnipotence, all-embracing, penetrating love - a power indescribable in words, a saturation of my being in the presence of God, and I was as I was created to be - living in Him!

    This is how I will forever live my life, saturated with His divine life and love deep within this inner chamber of His burning Heart, living in Him as He possesses my being, and I operate with His power in me.

    Little creatures though we are, we are His, His power, His life, flowing through us. In Him, we are as the Father intended: one in Him, each one of us, dwelling in this fiery furnace of His love. With our fears quieted and our hearts empowered by His life, we live forever in Him - in the Heart of Jesus.

    Let no man separate what God has joined together. I am wed in the deepest love with my beloved Spouse, wed to the Heart of Jesus. As I am, I am one in Him. I live and I breathe in Him. He, Who is love, He Who is our all, He Who is mighty and without limits, He Who is, He Who is God and as I live, He lives in me in this world.

    I am wed to Him, and I shall not fear for He is God - one, complete, loving, God. Heart of Jesus, I place my trust in Thee. As I live, I live in Your most adorable Heart, the furnace of God's love!

end of December 18, 1995