April 2, 1992

                      R. Dear Jesus,

                            I am so happy to have you in my
                       heart. Thank you for this day and the sunshine,
                       thank you for helping me give my life to you and bringing
                       me to this point in my life. Thank you for
                       the trials that has brought me closer to
                       You and teaching me how to love more. Jesus,
                       I give you my will and my life,  I give you
                       what I am and I ask you to run my
                       life, please what ever happens
                       I surrender to you running my life.

                            Please Jesus help me to know the
                       way of life you call me to. Help me surrender to what
                       ever you want me to do. I will let you
                       run the show. I am going to do what you want,
                       I know today I was to go to All Saints
                       and spend this time with you.

                            Thank you for your relationship,
                       Thank you for the Holy Spirit and my
                       heavenly mother, thank you for real
                       joy which I now feel in my heart.
                       Thank you for the image of the
                       wall of rocks and the door for me
                       to walk through.

                            That was my image from you, at that point
                        seeing the gray rocks oh so close like a
                        wall and a door, you were taking me to a
                        new beginning in my life -- a life of
                        surrendering and realizing that you are
                        running my life. What is for today? I do your will.
                        That is what is to be. I am
                        filled with Your love and Your joy as I
                        walk through this door into surrender
                        with you -- on the other side there are
                        still rocks, but they are not closing in
                        they are opening up and the light, as the
                        warm sun is now seen atop the
                        rocks and my body is warm and secure in
                        Your love. You oh my Lord are in
                        the driver's seat. I walk through that door.
                        My relationship with you is alive and new,
                        and I surrender and walk through the door.
                        I have a deep relationship with
                        my children and my close friends -- they
                        are there, all around me -- I Lord Jesus
                        walk through the door -- the rocks
                        open up and I am not closed in anymore,
                        but I can always look up and see the
                        opening and the sky. You are in the
                        driver's seat, you are rowing my
                        boat and driving my car, though I
                        tread in raging waters, I do not
                        need to be afraid, you are there with
                        your rod  and your staff and you comfort
                        me, I am not afraid, your warmth
                        and your love is always there, I am
                        secure, I am your child, I am
                        protected and held and you will stand
                        for me, you will say, she is indeed my
                        child, I love her, she is mine.
                        She is my child.

                        Jesus:  I will never forget you,
                        I will not leave you orphaned, I
                        will hold your hand and lead you.
                        You dwell in My Heart at this moment.
                        Die to the old ways not likened to
                        Me -- to live a deeper life of
                        resurrection in Me.  I am here and I am
                        still in your heart. My love for you is
                        real, I will not abandon you. I
                        will nurture you and prune you and
                        watch you grow in my light, I
                        will be your light, you will
                        not flicker or fade, but be constantly aglow
                        with the light of my love, I am ever
                        present in your heart. Reach out and
                        touch my heart, it is warm and alive
                        and beating for you, know you are loved
                        child. No earthly person can give this
                        love to you. Look up and see the heaven and
                        count the stars if you can, your
                        life will be even brighter, brighter
                        than all the stars.  Bathe yourself
                        in my love and know it is constant and
                        there for you, I am your God -- you
                        shall have no Gods before me, nothing
                        can compare to this love, I give to you.
                        Do not turn to the world, I will provide
                        you with nurturing and love, with
                        peace and joy, do my work and be attentive
                        to the voice within you, it is there and
                        you must constantly listen, you will
                        know when I am talking to you --
                        listen my child, I do not slumber or
                        sleep, I am attentive to your needs
                        and I love you, I will strengthen and
                        protect you always. Jesus died
                        upon the Cross, Christ arose from
                        the dead and you too will live a deeper
                        life of resurrection in Me. You are through the
                        door, surrender to Me. Listen to
                        my directions and carry them out, I am in
                        your life, I am in your heart, I am He
                        who comforts you, do not, my child,
                        be afraid, walk in the confidence
                        of knowing I your God walk
                        before and with you every step
                        of the way. I am he who comforts and walks
                        with you. I love you, I love you, Jesus

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