Daily Writing
| Shepherds of Christ Daily Writing |
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April 14, 2010
|
April 15th Holy
Spirit Novena |
The Novena Rosary
Mysteries |
The Lord gave an urgent message to print
Tell My People on April 10th.
Can you please help us?
The Building Payment is due the 19th
April 14, 2010
Except from Your Inner Child of the Past
by W. Hugh Missildine, M.D. published by Simon and Schuster New York 1963
"Once you were a child
That child still lives within
you
— influencing and interfering
in your adult life"
p. 13
WHO IS YOUR INNER CHILD OF THE PAST?
The Persisting Child of the Past
Somewhere, sometime, you were a child. This is one of the great obvious, seemingly meaningless and forgotten common denominators of adult life. Yet the fact that you were once a child has an important bearing on your life today. In trying to be adults we mistakenly try to ignore our lives as children, discount our childhood and omit it in our considerations of ourselves and others. This is a basic cause of much adult distress and unhappiness. It is a way of mistreating ourselves.
p. 25
HOW THE CHILD OF THE PAST INFLUENCES ADULT LIFE
No One Outgrows His Feelings of Childhood
No one outgrows or becomes too old to have an "inner child of the past." A few years ago when President Dwight D. Eisenhower announced a new record-breaking budget, newsmen promptly interviewed his older brother, Edgar, for his views. Edgar severely criticized the budget as inflationary. Next morning the President was asked what he thought of his brother's comments. According to The New York Times, the President, smiling broadly, said, "Edgar has been criticizing me since I was five years old." His remark, frank in its human quality and its implication that he had learned in childhood not to heed Edgar, drew laughter from the correspondents. It revealed one facet of the President's "child of the past"—the attitude of Edgar toward his younger brother and the attitude which young Dwight had developed to cope with Edgar's criticism. More than half a century later these attitudes were still functioning vigorously.
end of excerpt
God can restore us to peace and
sanity —
We need to put our trust in God
We need to realize His Might
We need to trust Him
We need to obey Him
We need to be willing to trust God — really
trust God
We need to really believe in His Might —
We work on our relationship with God —
Continuing to act in a self-destructive
manner will lead us deeper into
unhappiness, misery and isolation.
We need God's help — we are to love others,
be grateful for what we have been given.
We must be honest — We look at the truth
about ourselves and our lives —
We don't blame others — We want to
change destructive behavior patterns
that hurt ourselves, God and others —
We are not prideful seeing ourselves as perfect —
we walk humbly, seeking to know our imperfections
and grow in the spiritual life —
In admitting the truth about our faults we are
set free — We have hope —
We trust God
We believe in God and His Might to heal us —
if we are willing to cooperate with
His grace and let Him remove our
defects of character -
As children we learned how to be boys and girls
from our father and mother — they were
our role model —
If a child is subjected to violence, anger acted
out at home — they learn this is a suitable way
to handle problems in human relationships —
Where others may learn in balanced loving
homes — how to give and take, love and be
loved —
other children may learn about these violent,
forceful ways from birth and they think
this violence is normal —
There may be fights in the neighborhood —
fighting in communities — One who
enables another to act out rage and
violence, must control others who
do not want it through suppressing
their wishes and needs
A violent person can be triggered easily —
or project anger on innocent others
for nothing —
Children living in homes like this
violence are confused — they can
think it can be their fault and
store up guilt if the parent's
anger is blamed on them —
Violent people have learned to control
others with their violence —
Women are not as strong — so it can
be used to control another weaker sex —
Anger from these situations is acted out
on innocent others and very often
forced on them by the angry person
and the enabler who actually —
clears the way for them because of their own
fears of them and their own dysfunctional
upbringing
Sometimes children become over responsible
for the unviolent spouse and in
protection of other siblings from the
angry or violent person —
If anger or violence continues over a period
of time — these involved with the angry
person are robbed of life and must develop
survival behavior to deal with the angry
person
Like always being on guard —
Ready to fight in ways to protect oneself —
Everyone suffers from this violent angry
behavior —
Even if it is not acted out before some —
Tension and anger affects the atmosphere and
it is not peaceful and loving —
Children in abusive or violent homes are
taught to accept this behavior —
Later when given the chance — they may force
others to put up with their violence
and control —
Life is a roller coaster —
The angry person sets the pace —
The enabler sees they get away with it —
it can be because of fear of the guy's
anger — so they roll out the carpet
for them and tolerate anger and suppress
others from trying to stop it —
The elephant in the living room —
The merry-go-round called denial —
This atmosphere makes for low self-esteem for all —
Children suffer when parents hurt each other —
Children are confused —
When others in normal homes are learning
about life, loving relationships, peace —
children in these abusive homes
learn these destructive behaviors
for relating and settling conflict
Children may want to protect a parent and
feel guilty when the abuse/anger
doesn't stop
People from these families can develop
depression or low self-esteem
There can be aggressive acting out of
anger by children later in life —
There can be passive-aggressive behavior
where one acts passive, but may
subtly be abusing through
hidden ways —
Some children when growing up or
grown will use alcohol, drugs,
other addicted forms to handle
the pain —
We can choose other needy partners, other
partners who were abused —
and the cycle goes on — more
violent and angry homes
An angry person will act out their anger —
anger is an energy — where one knows
love — we feel anger, this energy —
active in a person
In some it takes little pressure to explode —
others start fights over nothing to vent
their anger
others provokes others in hidden
ways — passive-aggressive to
watch others act out their anger
Children who learned anger — may use
anger on spouses, their children,
their friends etc.
When a person is under stress — old patterned
behavior comes out
There isn't like a violent/angry person
doesn't affect everyone
others become fearful, withdrawn,
irritable, aggressive - provoking —
or detached — the anger in a
system, family, community is
acted out — the whole family
suffers
One under pressure can lie —
One can be addicted to lying and secrets —
provoking and being punitive
A person who is angry can lie — call
others things or say things they themselves
did that was wrong — projecting onto
others
A person who does not know how to be
with others may start arguments,
provoking to get alone — they may
have so much anger they just
provoke others to act out their own anger
and get relief
A person that can't relate can hurt others
so they can live their own uncommunicable
way — they can play games — in and
out games
Children in homes are in the middle of
all this anger, manipulation and
confusion
Dear Jesus, we ask for healing for all these
things we may have suffered as children —
We are called to love —
I know the Father's family is dysfunctional —
We pray for the priests, the Church and the world —
We are to die to our imperfect ways and love others —
work in kindness — work in one mind
and one heart
Jesus says: Come unto Me all who are burdened
and find rest for your soul —
Jesus we beg for peace in our lives and
the human race
Jesus be one with us
Thank You God — I give You my whole
heart and soul
Thank You for the gifts You have given me —
Thank You for Your grace
Thank You for my talents
Help me to do Your work, Jesus.
Jesus help us to be gentle — Thank You Jesus
for our Mother Mary
Dear Holy Spirit fill me
God cloth me with Your grace
Jesus, My Lord, My God
Children in abused homes suffer — they did
not usually get their love needs met —
they did not learn normal ways to relate
with others — including God —
There may be alcoholic or drug abuse by parents
used to numb their pain —
These children live on a roller coaster
an unpredictable life — Dysfunction
with a Capital D
A person drinking or using, is in a cycle —
(1) drinking or using
(2) thinking about drinking or using
(3) having a hang over
Anger can be passed down from generations
past — children can be taught to be angry —
Children in these homes can be blamed
by sick parents and children grow
up with guilt — "maybe it was my fault
they think"
Alcoholic mothers teach little boys
about women — this modeling hurts
children's understanding of women,
men and relationships —
A child of an alcoholic or addiction
who should experience security —
suffers great insecurity that lasts
until they deal with this —
How does a child learn to have
self-respect and feel good about
themselves? How does a child
learn not to fear, not to be anxious?
Someone in a house like this can
be very fearful and learns shouting,
throwing is okay — if mom and dad do it.
Some parents throw things when they
saw their parents do it — When adults
throw things at another adult — they
are using force to establish their rules —
It's like saying
"You will put up with my behavior
and put up with my control"
Little children in these homes can be
deprived of getting their needs met ie
when they are sick —
The mother or father who never had
their needs met probably deprives their
children of many needs — Money
may be spent on an addiction and
children deprived of ample food
and drink — This affects their
health — mom or dad have money for
their addiction — not for children's needs —
Parents can make false promises they
make when drinking or using and never
keep up to their promise when sober —
this teaches children not to trust —
to be disappointed — they may act out
on others —
In such homes where needs are not
met — many children cannot express
feelings — if they cry they may
get spanked
The rule Don't Talk
Don't Trust
Don't Feel
Is the rule of an addicted home —
Children learn to love from their
young home life — many may learn
in these homes to punish those
who treat them nice because
of how they are treated by mom or dad
not in a reliable way
Children in these homes may not
know how to resolve conflict in
relationships — So they must learn
later on in life what some children
learned as a toddler —
Life is full of problems
We need to learn to resolve conflicts
Laziness —
These are a few abuses children
may have to deal with to live
fruitful - harmonious lives —
There can be generational anger —
There may be physical or emotional abuse —
What were the safe places in your house —
Was there tension in certain rooms
Was life unpredictable
Are you afraid to trust anyone —
Do you have push - pull
love - hate relationships
If you trusted anyone did you
end up with anger,
hurt, abuse, unpredictability
Were you always a nuisance
always wrong —
Was mom and dad there for you?
over and over and over and over again
(1) building tension — provoking accumulative
stress accumulates
(2) explosion — climax, violence
physical, emotional
(3) calm phase
I'm sorry
makes promises they don't keep
This lasts about 24-48 hours
In advanced stages — constant abuse
Emotional abuse
(1) attack self-esteem
(2) blame other
(3) excuse for violence
(4) has all the control
In the calm phase or honeymoon
cycle — they say they do
nothing wrong
I love you
Starts again
Isolates friends and the failure
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July 31, 1994
Words of Jesus to Members of
Shepherds of Christ Associates:"My beloved priest-companion, I intend to use the priestly newsletter, Shepherds of Christ, and the movement, Shepherds of Christ Associates, in a powerful way for the renewal of My Church and the world.
"I will use the newsletter and the chapters of Shepherds of Christ Associates as a powerful instrument for spreading devotion to My Heart and My Mother's Heart.
"I am calling many to become members of Shepherds of Christ Associates. To all of them I will give great blessings. I will use them as instruments to help bring about the triumph of the Immaculate Heart and the reign of My Sacred Heart. I will give great graces to the members of Shepherds of Christ Associates. I will call them to be deeply united to My Heart and to Mary's Heart as I lead them ever closer to My Father in the Holy Spirit."
- Message from Jesus to Father Edward J. Carter, S.J., Founder, as given on July 31, 1994,
feast of Saint Ignatius Loyola, Founder of the Society of Jesus (The Jesuits)
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