Shepherds of Christ          Daily Writing

June 5, 2007

June 5, 2007 - 6:30am

                    I tried to be one as God told me, but
                it is so difficult. Satan comes to divide,
                to separate where God is oneness, unity
                harmony and love.

                    When asked why God began the Shepherds of
                Christ Newsletter — I would say it was to help put
                this harmony into practice — deeper oneness
                and love in the Church, but despite the
                intention to do so - people do not want to
                admit they have anything wrong or they do
                anything wrong when in fact they have
                a tainted human nature and they want to
                be dominant and we see each other and
                God through tainted vision as Fr. John
                says.

                    So I get into interacting with these
                handicaps and the devil is pressing down
                trying to get the person to separate, to
                hate, to divide and he tells them lies
                in their thoughts. We must discern our
                thoughts and not listen to lies from satan,
                we must discern our actions and see if
                the thoughts we have we are going to act on
                are from the Holy Spirit, the evil spirit, just
                our own thoughts.

                    Actions we do should be what God wants,
                not coming because we want to fix something
                fast, we are acting out of pride, anger, lust,
                dreams - whatever —

                    Some pressure coming from satan when
                something is affecting so many souls can
                be so great it may be difficult to not
                give in.

                    Children are learning about their wills,
                they can look you right in the eye and say "no" —
                then if you tell them to do something again
                they may say "no" — this can go on until
                they arm wrestle to win.

                    Adults may be just as willful because
                by then they may have established in themselves
                "nobody tells me what to do". If they ever
                feel they somehow have been forced to
                give in — they may do something else totally
                wrong to get their "power" back.

                    Power is a funny thing. If one person
                is disempowered by a situation, they may
                find another person to dominate to make
                up for this lack of power in the one
                situation and project things because of the
                disempowering situation on a new situation
                in which they can get their power back.
                It is very awful really for them and others
                if they are not doing things because it is
                God's will and they are not living in truth.

                    People who are angry or been betrayed
                and cannot control that may easily find
                a scapegoat to work their anger out on. Then
                it is further complicated by erratic behavior
                which is dominated by control to see they
                are never wounded again and the one always
                in power.

                    Satan always attacks authority — he
                can press on an individual that needs
                to respect authority to see how he can
                get around it like the two or three year
                old that is really willful and will
                through manipulation always try to get
                their way.

                    Controlling others because of a wounded
                heart may become habitual if someone can
                get away with it. Its like protecting a
                wounded leg so nobody bumps into it.

                    Feelings can be stuffed like a can of
                rubber bands and if one rubber band
                got out — all the rubber bands come out
                of the can — so they can control every one
                around with a hardened heart so not
                even one rubber band can come out of the
                can, lest all the others follow and they cry
                or something.

                    Crying may not look good in public
                for a man, but God gave us this emotion
                to help cleanse us of terrible sorrow
                and it is okay for someone to shed
                tears when they have suffered tremendous
                sorrow, betrayal, they can cry to Jesus,
                but not to stuff the feelings so much to
                fail to see how a big suffering has
                wounded us so we can pray for healing
                and we thus live in the truth about
                ourselves and forgive those who have
                so tremendously hurt us, betrayed us.

                    Jesus forgave us, when He died on the
                cross He showed us how He loved us
                so much and He forgave us.

                    We want our hearts to be soft and
                supple. I used to sing and I had less
                control over my singing instrument.
                A very good teacher helped me learn how
                to breathe and control things better —
                I learned, I listened, I got helped.

                    The will can be compared to this — Our
                lives are to be lived to live in God's will
                in love — If our actions are determined
                by pent up anger, fear, betrayal from
                the past, unforgiven hurts, truths
                about things from the past we will
                not look at —

                    We will not be as free to even know
                or do God's will. Satan can press on us
                and we are responding or can respond
                from hidden buttons that can almost
                go off in our hearts and we act
                erratically.

                    We are in God's hands, always searching
                for truth, wanting deeper to love in
                adversity, not wanting to control for
                control sake to protect our red, hurt,
                hardened heart —

                    We want the spontaneity to be able
                to love as God desires in the moment-—
                freely —

                    Wounded persons can keep wounding
                others through control and erratic
                behavior. If a person who has
                offended us has still control in our
                lives — every encounter may be a
                trip for us with the unforgiveness of
                old wounds or deep seated anger.
                This can happen every time the smallest
                encounter comes up.

                    Changing others is probably not
                going to happen —

                    God intends us to advance more and
                more in love and forgiveness - which
                is demonstrated by —

                    how God loved man so much
                    Jesus died on the cross
                    Jesus gives us Himself in the Holy
                        Eucharist today

                Jesus forgives man his sins
                    Jesus has this self-giving love.

                Say yes to God's will

                Always

                    in love —

                    You can do it, but

                    You must say yes and

                    beg for God's grace

                    to do it and

            advance in the

                    spiritual life

                    more and more

                God is all powerful —
                The bridge is built slowly and in
                    love — we have a lifetime.     

                    A priest was told to build a church
                and it was a big project — when it
                was done — they asked the priest
                how he did it.

                    He said the people really did
                it with God's help — they all worked
                together.

                    One brick does not build a church.