Given July 8, 2010

                    To be recited before every prayer
                    service morning, noon, and night.

                    Retreat Prayer

                    When I see all the blessings
                God has given to me it
                seems that I would not let
                others who are filled with
                darkness and anger affect
                me, but when one wants
                to hurt another and acts
                for satan blocking and
                blocking then it behooves
                me to tell God I am sorry
                for the sins I commit in
                their anger acted out on me —

                I can become a royal pain
                in the end to God for all
                the blessings and gifts He has
                given and signs and love He
                has outpoured continuously
                to me —

                    It would be the worst if
                I would walk in pride and
                not tell God I am sorry for
                my offenses against Him —

                    I can never take back
                my actions and Our Lord
                and God suffered for my
                sins —

                    Yes, it was I who through
                unkindness and selfishness
                whipped Him at the pillar
                and crowned Him with thorns —

                It was I who put the
                nails in His hands and
                feet — It was I who turned
                away at the crucifixion —
                Why am I so weak —
                Because of pride —
                Because of lack of trust —
                Because of fear —
                Because I am not truthful
                    to myself about
                    His gifts to me —

                I am ungrateful when
                    I am so richly blessed —

                Oh God forgive my sins
                    of anger, jealousy,
                    pride, control,
                    lust, possessiveness,
                    hatred

                Oh God grant Your mercy
                    to me and forgive me please

                Thank You God for Your
                    goodness to me —

                Let me never offend
                    Thee again

                It is I who drag
                    myself down by
                    negative thinking and
                    judging others —

                Help me Lord to look at my
                    sins — lest I be
                    judged as I have judged
                    others —
                I be punished as I have
                    punished others —

                I am made to wait without
                    any compassion as I
                    have made others wait
                    for me without
                    compassion and respect —

                Oh God help me always to
                    judge my actions by
                    doing Your will in
                    love and not give into
                    temptation —

                Temptation to sin by the
                    7 deadly sins

 pride, greed, envy, wrath,
 lust, gluttony, sloth
  

Prayer for Union with Jesus

Come to me, Lord, and possess my soul. Come into my heart and permeate my soul. Help me to sit in silence with You and let You work in my heart.

    I am Yours to possess. I am Yours to use. I want to be selfless and only exist in You. Help me to spoon out all that is me and be an empty vessel ready to be filled by You. Help me to die to myself and live only for You. Use me as You will. Let me never draw my attention back to myself. I only want to operate as You do, dwelling within me.

    I am Yours, Lord. I want to have my life in You. I want to do the will of the Father. Give me the strength to put aside the world and let You operate my very being. Help me to act as You desire. Strengthen me against the distractions of the devil to take me from Your work.

    When I worry, I have taken my focus off of You and placed it on myself. Help me not to give in to the promptings of others to change what in my heart You are making very clear to me. I worship You, I adore You and I love You. Come and dwell in me now.

-God's Blue Book, January 17, 1994

                    It is spiritual
                pride that I give into
                when I think I have
                no evil in me —

                    We are all sinners
                and it drives me
                from Jesus and loving
                and growing when
                I raise myself above
                my fellow human
                beings as one superior —
                It is a mask to hide
                how I have been
                wronged by others
                and act like it
                never hurt me when I
                because of spiritual
                pride, do worse to others
                by years of daily
                hatred, anger and
                combatal ways —

                    Do I not think I will
                not be judged for my sins —
                Who do I fool —
                God knows everything —
                Lying to God whom I
                offend, Jesus who
                was beaten and died
                for my lies —

                    Who am I kidding —
                Spiritual pride is
                a rotten root —
                where one sees themselves
                as perfect and looks down
                on all others —

                    Be real — admit your
                fears and don't act out
                hatred toward others
                to cover them up —
                Hatred acted out
                because I lie to
                myself that I am
                perfect —

                    Hating shows my
                impurity and robs the
                world of love —

                    Get real don't
                waste your life
                trying to prove
                your sins are not there —

                Grow in spiritual
                    humility like Mary
                    loving —

                Your misery is from
                    choices to isolate
                    and give into the
                    deadly sins —

                    The deadly sins
                rob you of life

                 pride, greed, envy, wrath,
                 lust, gluttony, sloth

                Saying what is wrong is
                    right
                    IS from satan

Sorrowful Mysteries

                Agony in the Garden

                (1) Mark 14: 32-44

They came to a plot of land called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, ‘Stay here while I pray.’ Then he took Peter and James and John with him. And he began to feel terror and anguish. And he said to them, ‘My soul is sorrowful to the point of death. Wait here, and stay awake.’ And going on a little further he threw himself on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, this hour might pass him by. ‘Abba,  Father!’ he said, ‘For you everything is possible. Take this cup away from me. But let it be as you, not I, would have it.’ He came back and found them sleeping, and he said to Peter, ‘Simon, are you asleep? Had you not the strength to stay awake one hour? Stay awake and pray not to be put to the test. The spirit is willing enough, but human nature is weak.’ Again he went away and prayed, saying the same words. And once more he came back and found them sleeping, their eyes were so heavy; and they could find no answer for him. He came back a third time and said to them, ‘You can sleep on now and have your rest. It is all over. The hour has come. Now the Son of man is to be betrayed into the hands of sinners. Get up! Let us go! My betrayer is not far away.’

And at once, while he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, came up and with him a number of men armed with swords and clubs, sent by the chief priests and the scribes and the elders. Now the traitor had arranged a signal with them saying, ‘The one I kiss, he is the man. Arrest him, and see he is well guarded when you lead him away.’

                (2) Adam and Eve were in a garden
                    they sinned
                    Jesus sweat blood —

                (3) Psalm 33: 11-19

but Yahweh's own plan stands firm for ever,
his heart's counsel from age to age.
How blessed the nation whose God is Yahweh,
the people he has chosen as his heritage.

From heaven Yahweh looks down,
he sees all the children of Adam,
from the place where he sits he watches
all who dwell on the earth;
he alone moulds their hearts,
he understands all they do.

A large army will not keep a king safe,
nor his strength save a warrior's life;
it is delusion to rely on a horse for safety,
for all its power it cannot save.

But see how Yahweh watches over those who fear him,
those who rely on his faithful love,
to rescue them from death
and keep them alive in famine.

                (4) God created the heaven and the earth —
                    God separated light from
                        darkness —
                    God created the firmament —
                    God divided the waters
                    God divided the land from the sea —
                    God commanded the earth
                        bring forth grass, trees
                    God created the sun and moon
                        and stars

                    God created fish and birds —
                    God created beasts - reptiles —
                    God created man in His own
                        image and likeness
                    God rested on the 7th day

                (5) Adam and Eve were expelled
                    from the garden because
                    of their sin —

                (6) Genesis 3: 24

He banished the man, and in front of the garden of Eden he posted the great winged creatures and the fiery flashing sword, to guard the way to the tree of life.

                (7) An angel appeared to Jesus
                    in the garden.

                (8) Cain shed the blood of Abel.

                    Jesus shed His blood sweating
                        in the garden.

                (9) Noah built the Ark.

                    Jesus was conceived in the
                        womb of Mary by the
                        power of the Holy Spirit.

                (10)

                Scourging at the Pillar

                (1) Genesis 22: 1-2, 9, 10-13, 15-18

                (2) Exodus 14: 15—15:1

Yahweh then said to Moses, ‘Why cry out to me? Tell the Israelites to march on. Your part is to raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it, so that the Israelites can walk through the sea on dry ground, while I, for my part, shall make the Egyptians so stubborn that they will follow them, and I shall win glory for myself at the expense of Pharaoh and all his army, chariots and horsemen. And when I have won glory for myself at the expense of Pharaoh and his chariots and horsemen, the Egyptians will know that I am Yahweh.’

    Then the angel of God, who preceded the army of Israel, changed station and followed behind them. The pillar of cloud moved from their front and took position behind them. It came between the army of the Egyptians and the army of Israel. The cloud was dark, and the night passed without the one drawing any closer to the other the whole night long. Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and Yahweh drove the sea back with a strong easterly wind all night and made the sea into dry land. The waters were divided and the Israelites went on dry ground right through the sea, with walls of water to right and left of them. The Egyptians gave chase, and all Pharaoh’s horses, chariots and horsemen went into the sea after them. In the morning watch, Yahweh looked down on the army of the Egyptians from the pillar of fire and cloud and threw the Egyptian army into confusion. He so clogged their chariot wheels that they drove on only with difficulty, which made the Egyptians say, ‘Let us flee from Israel, for Yahweh is fighting on their side against the Egyptians!’ Then Yahweh said to Moses, ‘Stretch out your hand over the sea and let the waters flow back on the Egyptians and on their chariots and their horsemen.’ Moses stretched out his hand over the sea and, as day broke, the sea returned to its bed. The fleeing Egyptians ran straight into it, and Yahweh overthrew the Egyptians in the middle of the sea. The returning waters washed right over the chariots and horsemen of Pharaoh’s entire army, which had followed the Israelites into the sea; not a single one of them was left. The Israelites, however, had marched through the sea on dry ground, with walls of water to right and left of them. That day, Yahweh rescued Israel from the clutches of the Egyptians, and Israel saw the Egyptians lying dead on the sea–shore. When Israel saw the mighty deed that Yahweh had performed against the Egyptians, the people revered Yahweh and put their faith in Yahweh and in Moses, his servant.

Song of victory

It was then that Moses and the Israelites sang this song in Yahweh’s honour: 

        I shall sing to Yahweh, 
                for he has covered himself in glory, 
            horse and rider 
                he has thrown into the sea.

                (3) Sing: Come to the Water

                (4) Isaiah 54: 5-14

                (5) Baruch 3: 9-15, 32—4:4

Listen, Israel, to commands
    that bring life;
hear, and learn what knowledge means.
Why, Israel, why are you in the country
    of your enemies,
growing older and older in an alien land,
defiling yourselves with the dead,
reckoned with those who go to Sheol?
It is because you have forsaken
    the fountain of wisdom!
Had you walked in the way of God,
you would be living in peace for ever.
Learn where knowledge is,
    where strength,
where understanding, and so learn
where length of days is, where life,
where the light of the eyes
    and where peace.

But who has found out where she lives,
who has entered her treasure house?

But the One who knows all discovers her,
he has grasped her with his own intellect,
he has set the earth firm for evermore
and filled it with four-footed beasts,
he sends the light — and it goes,
he recalls it — and trembling it obeys;
the stars shine joyfully at their posts;
when he calls them, they answer,
    'Here we are';
they shine to delight their Creator.
It is he who is our God,
no other can compare with him.
He has uncovered the whole way
    of knowledge
and shown it to his servant Jacob,
to Israel his well-beloved;
only then did she appear on earth
and live among human beings.

She is the book of God's commandments,
the Law that stands for ever;
those who keep her shall live,
those who desert her shall die.

                 (6) Ezekiel 36: 16-28

                (7) Romans 6: 3-11

You cannot have forgotten that all of us, when we were baptised into Christ Jesus, were baptised into his death. So by our baptism into his death we were buried with him, so that as Christ was raised from the dead by the Father's glorious power, we too should begin living a new life. If we have been joined to him by dying a death like his, so we shall be by a resurrection like his; realising that our former self was crucified with him, so that the self which belonged to sin should be destroyed and we should be freed from the slavery of sin. Someone who has died, of course, no longer has to answer for sin.

But we believe that, if we died with Christ, then we shall live with him too. We know that Christ has been raised from the dead and will never die again. Death has no power over him any more. For by dying, he is dead to sin once and for all, and now the life that he lives is life with God. In the same way, you must see yourselves as being dead to sin but alive for God in Christ Jesus.

                (8) Philippians 3: 6-11

as for religious fervour, I was a persecutor of the Church; as for the uprightness embodied in the Law, I was faultless. But what were once my assets I now through Christ Jesus count as losses. Yes, I will go further: because of the supreme advantage of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, I count everything else as loss. For him I have accepted the loss of all other things, and look on them all as filth if only I can gain Christ and be given a place in him, with the uprightness I have gained not from the Law, but through faith in Christ, an uprightness from God, based on faith, that I may come to know him and the power of his resurrection, and partake of his sufferings by being moulded to the pattern of his death, striving towards the goal of resurrection from the dead.

                (9) Isaiah 50: 4-7

Lord Yahweh has given me 
    a disciple’s tongue, 
for me to know how to give 
    a word of comfort to the weary. 
Morning by morning 
    he makes my ear alert 
to listen like a disciple. 
Lord Yahweh has opened my ear 
and I have not resisted, 
I have not turned away. 
I have offered my back 
    to those who struck me, 
my cheeks to those 
    who plucked my beard; 
I have not turned my face away 
from insult and spitting. 
Lord Yahweh comes to my help, 
this is why insult has not touched me, 
this is why I have set my face like flint 
and know that I shall not 
    be put to shame. 

                (10) Sing: My God, My God Why have You abandoned me

Psalm 22: 8-9, 17-20, 23-24

‘He trusted himself to Yahweh, let Yahweh set him free! 
Let him deliver him, as he took such delight in him.’ 

It was you who drew me from the womb 
and soothed me on my mother’s breast.

I can count every one of my bones, 
while they look on and gloat; 
they divide my garments among them 
and cast lots for my clothing. 

Yahweh, do not hold aloof! 
My strength, come quickly to my help, 
rescue my soul from the sword, 
the one life I have from the grasp of the dog!

‘You who fear Yahweh, praise him! 
All the race of Jacob, honour him! 
Revere him, all the race of Israel!’ 

For he has not despised 
nor disregarded the poverty of the poor, 
has not turned away his face, 
but has listened to the cry for help.

                Crowing with Thorns

                (1) Matthew 26: 39

And going on a little further he fell on his face and prayed. 'My Father,' he said, 'if it is possible, let this cup pass me by. Nevertheless, let it be as you, not I, would have it.'

                (2) Matthew 26: 42

Again, a second time, he went away and prayed: 'My Father,' he said, 'if this cup cannot pass by, but I must drink it, your will be done!'

                (3) Mark 14: 42

Get up! Let us go! My betrayer is not far away.’

                (4) Matthew 26: 50

Jesus said to him, 'My friend, do what you are here for.' Then they came forward, seized Jesus and arrested him.

                (5) John 18: 19-21

The high priest questioned Jesus about his disciples and his teaching. Jesus answered, 'I have spoken openly for all the world to hear; I have always taught in the synagogue and in the Temple where all the Jews meet together; I have said nothing in secret. Why ask me? Ask my hearers what I taught; they know what I said.'

                (6) Matthew 26: 63

But Jesus was silent. And the high priest said to him, 'I put you on oath by the living god to tell us if you are the Christ, the Son of God.'

                (7) John 18: 37

Pilate said, 'So, then you are a king?' Jesus answered, 'It is you who say that I am a king. I was born for this, I came into the world for this, to bear witness to the truth; and all who are on the side of truth listen to my voice.'

                (8) John 19: 1

Pilate then had Jesus taken away and scourged;

Isaiah 53: 7

Ill-treated and afflicted,
he never opened his mouth,
like a lamb led to the slaughter-house,
like a sheep dumb before its shearers
he never opened his mouth.

                (9) Matthew 27: 29

and having twisted some thorns into a crown they put this on his head and placed a reed in his right hand. To make fun of him they knelt to him saying, ‘Hail, king of the Jews!’

                (10) Mark 15: 20

And when they had finished making fun of him, they took off the purple and dressed him in his own clothes. They led him out to crucify him.

                Carrying of the Cross

                (1) From the Red Rosary Book -- Stations of the Cross -- February 22, 1995

                Crucifixion

                (1) August 23, 1993

On His Passion

Jesus: My dear child,
I was condemned to death, death on a cross. They gave Me a big cross and made Me carry it. They stood around and glared at Me. It weighed on My shoulder and I pulled at it until it finally moved. Every step was almost impossible as I dragged it, weighing so heavily on My shoulders.

My shoulder felt as if the bones inside would crack and the cross would fall through to the ground. I couldn’t drag it any more. I tried, I fell. I fell and its weight fell on Me. A guard hit Me with something sharp. It really hurt because he wanted Me to move, and fast! People were watching — on with the show! How dare I fall in the middle of the show! He hit Me again and the blow really stung Me. I got up because it hurt so badly. I tried to walk on.

My Mother was in the crowd. She looked at Me and her face looked red and hurt. Tears rolled down her cheeks like rain and as her eyes met Mine, I was hurt so by her sorrow! She was always by My side, silent and loving. She was My mother of love! She is always there next to you when you suffer.

                (2) August 23, 1993 - On His Passion continues

Jesus: I fell again and he (the guard) really hit Me. It (the cross) was so heavy that he and I together could barely move it. It seemed as I walked, heavier with the sins of the world heaped on it. My hands were bleeding. Blood ran from the wounds of My thorns and My head throbbed, seeming to make the wounds in My head bleed even more. Some of the Blood was dried, some of it running all over My Body. I had so many cuts and bruises — and people watched and laughed!

I am Jesus, Son of the Living God, and they laughed and mimicked Me! Oh, such hardened hearts! How vile can men’s heart become? The devil’s grip is paralyzing and crippling.

The walk was so long up a hill and over rocks — the cross had to be lifted over the rocks. My Body was bleeding so badly! My heart was pounding. I knew that the salvation of all men depended on My love. Therefore, I went through such agony.

                (3) August 23, 1993 - On His Passion continues

Jesus: I thought of My intense love for you — that many would go to heaven because of My suffering — and I continued to the top of the hill. At the top they laid Me on the cross and with a big hammer nailed My hands to it. It was the worst (suffering) yet. My hands were nailed with big nails and the big hammer. Oh, it was unbelievable! Then, as if that weren’t enough, with a big nail they nailed through both feet.

Then they lifted the cross and banged it into (a hole in) the ground. My shoulders ached from how I hung. My head bobbed and My neck ached and they laughed and said, "Now save Yourself." I hurt so much! I suffered this way for hours — which seemed like forever — and they glared at Me and laughed! My Mother watched in such agony.

For love of you, to My death I gave you My Body. My child, I shed My Blood and gave you My life that you might be with Me forever in heaven — not for a day, a month or a year, but forever with Me in heaven.

                (4) August 23, 1993 - On His Passion continues

Jesus: I am the true Bread come down from heaven. He who eats My Flesh will have life forever. For the drink I give you is My Blood and food you eat is My Body. Who would lay down his life for a friend? I did, for you. I love you this much, child. Forget about those who reject you. You have My life that I gave you and I give you life eternal.

I am the One true God. I am the Light of life. He who abides in Me will have life eternal, for the drink I give is My Blood and the food I give is My Body. Drink and eat and have everlasting life.

My child, that is all you need to know. Love one another and be good that you may enter into My kingdom.

end of August 23, 1993

                (5) From the Rosary of August 27, 1996

                (6) From Blue Book II

I Died for You

February 23, 1994

Jesus: I want this emotion in the letter I told you to write. I, Jesus, Son of God, talk to you with such emotion! I am He Who died a brutal death for love of you. I died for you! I love you this much, to give My Life! Yet you couldn't even write when I asked you. You must do exactly as I say. I do not want you ever to say no to Me!

I have such emotion! I am telling you how I died a brutal death and you, My child, did not write for Me! What more can I do? What more do they want? You put others before Me or you would do as I command. I want you to do as I tell you every moment.

I am the Lord. I am the Son of God. Such emotion I let you feel for My death. I died. I am a person. I was human and I died for you. Think of yourself giving your life for someone and they do not care. What can I do to shake you? What more can I say? I am here and I am loving you and pleading with you to listen to Me with this emotion that God is telling you. I am Jesus. I died for you. I gave My life for you and do you even listen, My little sweet one? You didn't want to write it for My children. When I give you a command, you write. When I say do, you do. Selflessness! I am pushing you because I need your total surrender. Do not ever deny My writing to My loved ones. You have a responsibility. I don't care where you are when I talk. I am God and I talk to you. I am so present to you.

Listen. I need your selflessness. I need your surrender. I need your life, given for love of Me and Me alone. I need you to be the light that shines on the hill, that does not go in and out but is constant in My love. I need your commitment. I need your attention at every moment. I am feeding you My words every moment on paper and in your hand. You must obey Me exactly as I command. No questions, only action. I want action. Now! You write when I say write. I don't care where you are. You worry not for others. I am giving you the mighty medicine. Would you tell the doctor to wait? I am God and I do not ever want to wait while you play a safe game with Me. When I say do something, I want you to do it. You are My beloved and I am filling you with fire.

I am pushing you to do that which I need done. Do not ever stop to look around. Keep your focus on Me and My commands for you. I am using you every moment. I must be able to count on your constant consent to do My will immediately! I am calling you to this work and I want you to comply. I love you ardently. I am so full of love for you. Focus on this and this alone. I am Who am. I am God, child. Do not ever hesitate. Do not doubt or think. You must act as I act in you or My work will not be done.

Be selfless about My commands. You will do My work. You will spread My words of love and create emotion with My songs and I will use you to bring My flock to My love. I love every soul! You must spread My love.

Note: (Meditating on the Crucifixion) Going to Mass at the seminary at 8:00 a.m. was rushed. He said to me, "Where are you going, child. Do you not feel My presence with you?" A calm came over me. Then He started lamenting how He died for us, how He is a true person and He loves us so much. He said, "I died for you."

R. He gave His life for us. He is the little lamb led to the slaughter out of love for us. He said, "I need you to do this work now and I am pushing you." He was so upset! He died for us. He loves us so much as to give His life.

He begged me to spread His love, to tell others how He, bloodied, bruised and beaten, gave us His life.

Jesus: I am God. I am God. I died. Spread My love now! Now! Now! Now! Now! I am begging you not to hold back! Read these letters now, read and learn about My love. I beckon you to speak of My love. Shout it from the high roof. Proclaim it in the cities. Jesus Christ died for love of you and He is risen! I am He Who is God and I died for you!

Listen and preach My love and emotion here. Priests will create little cities, little cities in each church to spread the light of Christ to this sick world. Each priest can create his own little city, a powerhouse of God's love. God has all the power. His power is endless. It never runs out. It is might. You have no power except through Him. Churches filled with the intimate love of Jesus will be powerhouses.

I am God, My little ones. God can do all things. I can make your cities light up the darkness. I am the Way, the Truth, the Life. I am the light of life. I am God! I can do all things. I want to act in you. You need to be in constant union with Me. My priests, you need to be selfless. My soul and yours are one. I want to act in you.

Hold not back. Pray the Prayer for Union with Me.

end of February 23, 1994

                (7) From the Apostles Manual p. 161

                    From the Rosary of February 13, 1997 - The Scourging at the Pillar

7. Jesus: And so, My soldiers of love, I call you this day to be the soldiers that will go into the dark night and will spread My love to My beloved ones. I give to you the letters of My love. I give to you this special gift, the gift of knowing Me in the most intimate way. You must come to Me everyday. You must spend an hour with Me everyday, if you can, before the tabernacle for it is there that I give you a great sharing in My life. But if you cannot, you must spend an hour alone with Me in your home everyday. In this hour I will tell you of My intimate love for you. Write to Me your letter. Read My letters to you. Spend this hour alone with Me and I will sort out in your mind all of the confusion. I will give you secrets into My Heart. I will call you to the deepest chamber of My Heart and I will give you great love. I am Jesus. You are My lovers that will carry My love to the world today. You must put aside all of the bitterness and hatred in your heart for a heart that is filled with anger cannot unite to My Heart. My way is love. You are My apostles of love. You must be loving in your heart.

                (8) From the Rosary of February 13, 1997 - The Scourging at the Pillar

9. Jesus: I am giving to you great grace in the Shepherds of Christ Movement to come ever closer to My Heart. I am asking you to spread the chapters to this world. I am asking you to pray the prayers, to consecrate your hearts all through the day, to say the Holy Spirit prayer and the consecration prayers that you will be joined in one mind and one heart for you are My shepherds that will go into the darkness and will help unite all of the people with the fire of My love.

                (9) From the Rosary of February 13, 1997 - Jesus Dies on the Cross pp. 166-167

7. Jesus: I have delivered to you this day this rosary, My beloved ones. I want your love. I want you to come to My Heart. I want you to give Me your heart, all through the day to tell Me, "Oh, Jesus, how I love you and I give myself to you." I will be King and Center of your heart when you come to Me and you spend time with Me after you have received Holy Communion, when you come to Me and you spend time before the tabernacle, when you spend intimate moments with Me in your room at home. I want intimacy with you. It takes time to be intimate. I am Jesus. I am the Almighty God. I have all that you need. You must come to Me and I will heal your wounds, I will love you and I will give you My divine love.

                (10) From the Rosary of February 13, 1997 - Jesus Dies on the Cross