Augustine, one of the greatest intellects in the history of the Church, was also a man of deep feeling, of deep passion. After his conversion, his passionate nature was turned from a life of sin to a life of marvelous dedication to Christ. He is an outstanding example of how the human emotions, human feelings, are to be used in the service of God. There follow excerpts from some of Augustine's writings.

• From The Confessions, we read the moving words of Augustine: "Who am I and what kind of man am I? What evil has there not been in my deeds, or if not in my deeds, in my words, or if not in my words, then in my will? But You, Lord, are good and merciful, and your right hand had regard to the profundity of my death and drew out the abyss of corruption that was in the bottom of my heart. By Your gift I had come totally not to will what I willed but to will what you willed. But where in all that long time was my free will, and from what deep sunken hiding-place was it suddenly summoned forth in the moment in which I bowed my neck to Your easy yoke and my shoulders to your light burden, Christ Jesus, my Helper and my Redeemer? How lovely I suddenly found it to be free from the loveliness of those vanities, so that now it was a joy to renounce what I had been so afraid to lose. For You cast them out of me, O true and supreme Loveliness, You cast them out of me and took their place in me. You who are sweeter than all pleasure, yet not to flesh and blood; brighter than all light, yet deeper within than any secret; loftier than all honour, but not to those who are lofty to themselves. Now my mind was free from the cares that had gnawed it, from aspiring and getting and weltering in filth and rubbing the scab of lust. And I talked with You as friends talk, my glory and my riches and my salvation, my Lord God."⁹
• The sensitive heart of Augustine is again made manifest in these poetic words:
          Question the beauty of the earth,
          the beauty of the sea,
          the beauty of the wide air around you,
          the beauty of the sky;
          question the order of the stars,
          the sun whose brightness lights the day,
          the moon whose splendor softens the gloom of night;
          question the living creatures that move in the waters,
          that roam upon the earth,
          that fly through the air;
          the spirit that lies hidden,
          the matter that is manifest;
          the visible things that are ruled,
          the invisible that rule them;
          question all these.
          They will all answer you:
          "Behold and see, we are beautiful."
          Their beauty is their confession of God.
          Who made these beautiful changing things,
          if not one who is beautiful and changeth not?¹⁰
• And, again, the deep emotion of Augustine speaks to us from the Confessions:
          "Where did I find you, that I came to know you? You were not within my memory before I learned of you. Where, then, did I find you before I came to know you, if not within Yourself, far above me? We come to you and go from you, but no place is involved in this process. In every place, O Truth, You are present to those who seek Your help, and at one and the same time you answer all, though they seek Your counsel on different matters.
          You respond clearly, but not everyone hears clearly. All ask what they wish, but do not always hear the answer they wish. Your best servant is he who is intent not so much on hearing his petition answered, as rather on willing whatever he hears from you.
          Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you! You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you. In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created. You were with me, but I was not with you. Created things kept me from you; yet if they had not been in you they would not have been at all. You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness. You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness. I drew in breath and now I pant for you. I have tasted you; now I hunger and thirst for more. You touched me, and I burned for your peace".¹¹

1. Confessions of St. Augustine, translated by John K. Ryan, Doubleday & Co., as found in The Treasury of Catholic Wisdom, op. cit., p. 128
2. St. Augustine, as in the Liturgy of the Hours, op. cit., Vol III, p. 1967.
3. Ibid., p. 273.
    

                R. The Eucharist is a jewel, a gift
                beyond all measures. We cannot even
                describe the gift of Jesus truly present
                in His Divinity and humanity in the
                Eucharist. What a gift we are given
                in the sacraments.

                    How can I ever even describe
                the sacrament of baptism. We
                receive a sharing in His life. Our
                knowing and loving capacity is elevated.
                The Father, Son and Holy Spirit dwell
                in us in a special way if we remain in
                the state of grace –

                    As for the Eucharist – how can
                we ever even explain this wondrous
                gift of Jesus, truly present in His
                Divinity and humanity and He comes
                to us, we receive Him, Body, Blood
                Soul and Divinity.

                    How are we ever able to even
                describe being in the presence
                of the Holy Eucharist – Jesus is
                truly present, no less present
                than when He walked the earth.

                    God feeds us with Himself
                when we receive the Eucharist.
                God outpours His grace when we
                adore Him before the Blessed Sacrament.

                    What a gift God gives us that He
                remains truly present in the Eucharist!

                    A gift God gives in baptism – we
                know a little of our Heavenly reward –
                that God wants us some day to be
                full of life in heaven –

                   A taste of knowing and loving
                God – a taste of insight into
                the hidden mysteries – a knowing
                of presence of God dwelling in
                our graced, baptized soul –

                    A man who turns his back to God and
                chooses to do evil and not good is
                using his will to turn away from
                their heavenly reward – We have this
                choice –

                    Who would choose darkness to God's
                fabulous light of love? Who would
                choose the misery of sin and turning
                away from God, distorted vision,
                misery, hatred, ugliness of darkness
                in one's heart being closed more and
                more to the real light.

                    I think of having a flu, of cancer,
                of a disorder of the physical body –
                think of choosing disorder of the
                heart, the life of the body and
                soul made for God, for love –
                when one is sick, a fever - they don't
                feel good.

                    How does a man feel who uses his
                will to turn away from God, from
                the light, from love and to remain
                in rebellion serving satan.

                    Think of a cold, cold day, bitter
                cold and the ice and snow coming down
                hitting the body, it is slippery, one
                can hardly move and the cold bitterly
                bears its weight it feels through
                to the bone. The fingers are wrinkled
                and frozen – the light very dark, dim,
                clouded and closing in –

                    Now think of the air that is just
                the kind that touches the skin, the
                light of the sun that is just perfect
                for seeing and yet shaded for comfort,
                the air, the light, the day a
                beauty – where one cannot explain
                in the clearness of it all –
                "What a beautiful day" and the
                feeling inside of life – the
                breathe of sweetness, the odor
                of a special fragrance one can
                only bathe in such a beauteous
                way –

                    God is the giver of gifts – He is love
                and we cannot even measure the
                gifts we are given by Him. We
                can be open – learning to receive
                God's gifts and bathe in His
                generosity – we can live in peace
                and thanksgiving of the wonder of love
                or we can put on darkness, live in
                hate, be suspicious, be old,
                be closed down –

                    We can choose hearts of envy,
                revenge, anger, and we can
                nurse this anger to hurt others –

                    Or we can learn to love – to
                give and receive love, to be more
                and more in the image of God

                    I think that I shall never see
                a poem as lovely as a tree ...

                A man looked out prison doors
                    one saw mud –
                    the other stars

                R. The more we know God – the more we
                    love, we have an appetite to
                    give – to want unity – to see
                    compassionately to see through
                    God's eyes – we are faith-filled –
                    our hope is in being with
                    God for eternity forever –
                    our hope is in being in love
                    with others –

                The more we know God and love God –
                    the more we love –
                    we have an appetite given to us
                    that seeks this completeness in
                    God – eternally –

                We turn not away from this appetite
                    to seek completeness in God,
                    but toward it as our goal
                    which is only true happiness –

                We know the reality that God wants
                    us eternally with Him in the
                    beatific vision and this
                    reality is AWESOME –
                    We taste a little the favors
                    that awaits us in heaven and
                    we know we can never be
                    satisfied here below –

                Oh wonder of wonders –

                We are commissioned in baptism
                    to go out and spread the
                    Good News –

                Our hearts are restless God until
                    we rest in Thee –

                Reality is God wants us in His
                    eternal embrace of love FOREVER –

                This is truth –

                God is Perfect Truth –

                We seek the Divine embrace of
                    eternal love – God promises
                    those who love and serve Him
                    and keep His commands –

                We seek this our eternal home
                    in heaven – happiness is in
                    God – our goal is God –

                Our life lived for the honor and glory of
                    God –

                God is all merciful to the penitent
                    sinner – God loves the
                    lost sheep –
                    Jesus died for all our sins –
                    This is the Good News –
                    to do good – to forsake evil –
                    to bathe in the gifts God gives here
                    to lead all men to the treasure –

Matthew 22: 1-14

Parable of the wedding feast

Jesus began to speak to them in parables once again, ‘The kingdom of Heaven may be compared to a king who gave a feast for his son’s wedding. He sent his servants to call those who had been invited, but they would not come. Next he sent some more servants with the words, “Tell those who have been invited: Look, my banquet is all prepared, my oxen and fattened cattle have been slaughtered, everything is ready. Come to the wedding.” But they were not interested: one went off to his farm, another to his business, and the rest seized his servants, maltreated them and killed them. The king was furious. He despatched his troops, destroyed those murderers and burnt their town. Then he said to his servants, “The wedding is ready; but as those who were invited proved to be unworthy, go to the main crossroads and invite everyone you can find to come to the wedding.” So these servants went out onto the roads and collected together everyone they could find, bad and good alike; and the wedding hall was filled with guests. When the king came in to look at the guests he noticed one man who was not wearing a wedding garment, and said to him, “How did you get in here, my friend, without a wedding garment?” And the man was silent. Then the king said to the attendants, “Bind him hand and foot and throw him into the darkness outside, where there will be weeping and grinding of teeth.” For many are invited but not all are chosen.’

                Excerpt from July 5, 1997 Rosary

August 13, 1997

Second Rosary August 13th Under the Tent

At the Morrow Center

Sorrowful Mysteries 

The Agony in the Garden

1. From the Mass Book, p. 6 December the 19th, 1996 There is a Man on the Cross. God wants union with us. He wants fire. Many try to love God with a cold heart. They tell Him words that they think they should say that are loving. When one loves, they do not need to be prompted to say words. From the depth of their being they cry out their words of love. It is a cry from within, from the fire within their chest, behind the words. The words are burning in their chests and must be released because of the fire behind them.

2. There is a Man on the Cross continues. We are as blind men. We do not see the great gifts that God gives to us. It is as if we stand by the shore of the sea and throw little words at Jesus. We must not be afraid to jump into the water and be completely immersed in His love. He was consumed with such love for us. He gave Himself to His death on the cross. There is a man on a cross and He tells us so many things. He does not have to speak. When we study Him on the cross, He speaks to us with His pierced hands His head covered with blood, His body withered and beaten. He speaks to us of His undying love.

3. There is a Man on the Cross continues. Oh, my beloved Savior, I am blind. I am selfish. I do not see the great reservoir of love that You give to me. I see the man dying on the cross. How do I see Him? Do I see a figure and I think, oh, it is a pretty cross. Would it look good in my living room? Do I think, oh, I guess I should have one in my house, others will think I am holy then? Holy people do have a cross in their homes. Do I see a body of a man, a live man? Do I see His labored breath? Do I see His chest move as His Heart beats within? Do I see the real skin of a man? Do I see the real Blood He shed? Do I see the light that silhouettes His withered body? Do I see the Light of the World?

4. There is a Man on the Cross continues. Do I see the tender skin of an infant laid on bare wood in a manger and then the torn, lacerated, bloodied skin of this man? There is a man on the cross. There is a child born to us today. He is the Light of the World. His light is shining in the darkness, but people do not see. They see the wood but they view it for the beauty it will create in their newly decorated living rooms.

5. There is a Man on the Cross continues. Be with Jesus in the garden. Be there and be within the Heart of Jesus. And feel how He felt in His Heart to know that so many would reject Him and they would hate Him and they would not love Him. And what He wants is love and so many this day do not even think of Jesus. And some are so disrespectful and they hate Jesus and they talked about Him with slanderous words and they use His name in vain. We are a sinful and willful race and God is all good and gives to us great gifts and we are not appreciating the gift that He gives to us - the gift of Himself.

6. It is a sad day and it is a sad world. Jesus wanted the brochures circulated for the Big Boom for He wants people to realize that the messages that He gives here are valid. And the conclusion is this: that we must pray, that He has given these messages that lead people to the Eucharist, to adoration, to time spent with Him after Communion. He has given these messages to lead people to deeper prayer in the Shepherds of Christ Movement and in praying for the priests and the renewal of the Church and the world. We hope that people will believe that He is talking here and turn their hearts to hearts that will pray, that will help us to reach the priests, that will help us to circulate the priestly newsletter.

7. Let us study the battered body of Christ on the cross. As I study His pierced hands and feet, His head crowned with thorns, the blood pouring forth from His Heart, as I view the lacerations covering His body, I feel His word well up in my heart. He speaks to Me in the depth of my soul and I hear Him say, “I love you. I love you. I love you. I died for you, I love you.”

8. Song: I come to you with greatest love

9. (This is on page 6.) Song: Little Child

10. (This is on page 6.) Song: Give me Your Heart, oh Jesus

Message before Glory Be:

(This is page 9.) Song: I love you this day, I am your ardent Love

Message after the Glory Be:

p. 152 - November the 15th, 1995. These are all from the Mass Book. “‘Feel Their Pain.’ Jesus was in the garden, and His Heart was torn in His chest because of the pain He suffered for the love of His precious souls. My heart was in such agony, pain, excruciating, buckling over pain in my heart. I know the pain of rejection, of loving and being ignored. I know the pain that made my heart ache, as if a lance pierced it, in the garden and remained in it, excruciating pain in the heart. Oh Jesus, how it hurts. Nothing can top this pain in the heart. My heart hurts so badly, I cannot describe it. I opened up Father Carter’s book, Mother at My Side, and it read: ‘Who can fathom the depth of her [Mary] grief as she watched her innocent Son suffer the excruciating pain and death of the crucifixion?’”

 

The Scourging at the Pillar

1. From the Mass Book, p.187 The Earth Stopped and I Touched Heaven. I long to unite in the deepest union with Him in the Eucharist. I long for the Mass. I long for Thee, oh God. My every moment, I join as I did to You December 15 under the cross, where I felt Your presence. You whisked me away, and I was totally absorbed in that moment of celestial union with You. For that time, I existed only in You, in the deepest union, and I was in this moment existing in You. The earth stopped, and I touched the heavens, all my bodily cares were existent in You. I existed in Your Divinity, my being was in You. There was no desire or wish or wanting, for in that moment, I had all I wanted in You. I was satisfied and wanted nothing but to remain in that embrace. You were the Being, and my being existed in You, but I was only as I was in You - merged in You, knowing and being in Your Divinity and being so full as to feel complete in myself.

2. From the Mass Book, p.187 The place Jesus took me was into the deepest recesses of His Heart. I was enveloped in His burning love. It was a red room with heat and an intense glow. I was swept away in this embrace and I only existed in Him. The power of the Almighty God enveloped me, and I only existed in Him.. There was no fear for I was existent in this Almighty Being. My heart was wrapped in the eternal embrace of this Supreme Being. The security, the power I know was His deep presence in which I existed.

3. (Page 10) Song: In the deepest recesses of My Heart (verse 1)

R. This is a song that Jesus told me to sing and then He told me to bring the message (December 18th, 1995). When I got here, then I was trying to find it. And it talks about this little child that is standing out by a tree in the dark night and the wind and the rain is coming and it’s beating down on them. And I got here and I looked for that message in this book and I couldn’t find it. That message was the one He told me to bring and then at the last minute when I ran out of the house, I didn’t bring it this morning. He said to bring that message and to sing this song.

Song: In the deepest recesses of My Heart (verse 2)

R. It’s like we’re in His Heart under this big tent …and we’re all one in Him because we’ve consecrated our hearts and we know that He is protecting us in a special way… This is a song He told me to sing, I guess it was around quarter of seven or seven o’clock this morning and He told me to bring this message about the little girl.

Song: In the deepest recesses of My Heart (verse 3)

4. Hail Mary
5. Hail Mary
6. Hail Mary
7. Hail Mary
8. Hail Mary
9. Hail Mary
10. Hail Mary

 

The Crowning with Thorns

1. Hail Mary
2. Hail Mary
3. Hail Mary
4. Hail Mary
5. Hail Mary
6. Hail Mary
7. Hail Mary
8. Hail Mary
9. Hail Mary
10. Hail Mary

(this is on page 12.) Song between decades: See the Eyes that look at Mary

 

The Carrying of the Cross

1. Hail Mary
2. Hail Mary
3. Hail Mary

4. I scarce could stand to walk the way with Him, Mary speaks, I was so sick at what they had done, but I wanted to be with my Son. I walked by the grace of God.

Jesus: My suffering was intensified by the sorrow and suffering of My Mother. My eyes met her and I saw her red, teary face. All they did to Me but to watch My beloved Mother suffer. She heard the cross as it thumped up the hill. The sounds were so loud and at the sight, she had to look away. Stand by Me and walk this road to Calvary. Listen and see My beaten body. Hear the jeers of the crowd. Hear the thumping of the cross. Listen when it falls hard on Me and I can scarcely go any more. Walk with Me and be there. Then think of your little crosses I ask you to carry. Do not put them down. Accept them for Me. It is in your crosses you are drawn closer to Me. I endured all this suffering for deep and ardent love of you. I would do it today for you.

5. Hail Mary

6. August the 23, 1993. Jesus: My dear child, I was condemned to death, death on a cross. They gave Me a big cross and made Me carry it. They stood around and glared at Me. It laid on My shoulder and I pulled at it until it finally moved and it was almost impossible to drag it weighing so heavily on My shoulder. My shoulder felt as if it would crack and the cross would fall through to the ground. I couldn’t drag it anymore. I tried. I fell. I fell and its weight fell on Me. A guard hit Me with something sharp. It really hurt because he wanted Me to move, and fast. People were watching. On with the show. How dare Me fall in the middle of the show! He hit Me again and the blows really stung Me. I got up. It hurt so badly. I tried to walk on. My Mother was in the crowd. She looked at Me and her face looked red and hurt. Tears rolled down her cheek like rain. As her eyes met Mine, I was so hurt by her sorrow. She was always by My side, silent and loving. She was My Mother of love. She is always there next to you when you suffer. She suffers your pain with you. When others sin, they hurt Me and My Mother. We are sorrowful when you are wounded by your brothers. I fell again and he, the guard, really hit Me. It, the cross was so heavy that he and I, together, we could barely move it. It seemed as I walked, heavier with the sins of the world heaped on it. My hands were bleeding. Blood ran from the wounds on my thorns and My head throbbed, seeming to make the wounds in My head bleed even more. Some of My blood was dried, some of it was running all over My body. I had so many cuts and bruises and people watched and laughed. I am Jesus, Son of the Living God, and they laughed and they mimicked Me. Oh such hardened hearts, how vile can men’s hearts become! The devil’s grip is paralyzing and crippling. All suffer when satan is in a man’s heart. Satan is in charge and the man becomes his slave.

7. August the 23, 1993 continues Jesus: When they wept for Me and I fell again, the walk was so long, up a hill and over rocks. The cross had to be lifted over the rocks. My body was bleeding so badly. My Heart was pounding and I thought that I had no blood left, that it had all gone out through My wounds. I knew the salvation of all men depended on My love, that I would go through such agony. I thought of My intense love for you, that many would go to heaven because of My suffering, and I continued to the top of the hill. At the top, they laid Me on the cross and with a big hammer nailed My hands to it. It was the worst suffering yet. My hands were nailed with big nails and a big hammer. Oh, it was unbelievable! Then, as if that wasn’t enough, with a big nail, they nailed both feet. Oh, how could you do this to anyone! Then they lifted the cross and banged it into a hole in the ground. My body hung by the weight of My hands, supported by My feet. My shoulders ached and how I hung. My head bobbed and My neck ached and they laughed at Me. ‘Now save Yourself.’ I hurt so much. I suffered this way for hours, which seemed like forever. They glared at Me and they laughed and My Mother watched in such agony.

8. August the 23, 1993 continues Jesus: ‘Oh God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?’ I did this for love of you so you could get to heaven. For the love of you, I gave you My body to My death. My child, I shed My blood and gave My life that you might be with Me forever in heaven - not for a day or a month or a year, but forever with Me in heaven. I am the true Bread come down from heaven. He who eats My flesh will have life forever, for the drink I give you is My Blood and the food you eat is My Body. Who would lay down his life for a friend? I did for you. I love you this much, child. Forget about those who reject you. You have My life that I gave to you and I gave you life eternal. I am the one true God. I am the Light of Life. He who abides in Me will have life eternal, for the drink I give is My Blood and the food I give is My Body.” He really says, “I am the one true God.” He said that “I am the one true God.” “Drink and eat and have everlasting life. My child, that is all you need to know. Love one another and be good that you may enter into My Kingdom.”

9. Song: Take and eat, take and eat.

10. Hail Mary

 

The Crucifixion

1. Blue Book III, p. 103 May the 25th, 1994.Mary:As tenderly as I beheld my beautiful Son in my arms with such love, I watched His death on the cross with such anguish. My heart torn apart by the sight of Him hanging in such pain. I scarce could stand. I was held up by my beloved John. Joy and pain. The pain to behold Him in His suffering and the joy to know your salvation was won through His blood. Such lamenting! I could not cry deep enough for the anguish I felt. His blood was spent. His life was given. He did this, my child, for love of you. I am your Mother. I love you, my precious ones. I love you as I love my beautiful Son, Jesus. I am Mary, your beloved Mother. Call to Me. I know your sufferings. I will comfort you. I suffered for love of you. You are so precious to us. Live in the love of my Son. He is with you this day in the Eucharist. I am Mary, your Mother. Thank you for responding to my call.

2. Hail Mary
3. Hail Mary
4. Hail Mary
5. Hail Mary
6. Hail Mary
7. Hail Mary
9. Hail Mary
10. Hail Mary

Mary’s Message

Mary: I stood beneath the cross of my Son. My heart was in such pain for I saw Him before my eyes. I saw Him covered with blood and I saw Him die. My heart, my children, my heart to watch my Son. But my heart, my heart, how I suffered for my little children of the world that give into this world and give up the love of my Son. Oh, my little children of light, I give you this message. Carry this light into the darkness for your Mother Mary. For I stood beneath the cross and I cried. I cried for the little ones. I cried for the young ones, the ones that do not care and will lose their souls. How do I make you see, for you will not listen to me. What can I do? I come, I appear, I beg, I plead, I give you these gifts from my Son and you reject me. I do not deliver messages very often anymore for I have been ignored. The message is the same. You do not read the messages I have given to you. Please help me. Help the little children. I appear, I appear, I appear and I am ignored. I stood beneath the cross and I cried. I cried and my heart was in such anguish for my little children, for I am searching for them this day as I searched for the Child Jesus. Please, please, help me. I cannot hold back the hand of my Son any longer. I am Mary your Mother. I ask you to help my children. You are my children of light.

Song: Mary’s Song