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August 6, 1999 Feast of the Transfiguration
A Prayer for Intimacy with the Lamb, the Bridegroom of the Soul
Oh Lamb of God, Who take away the sins of the world, come and act on my soul most intimately. I surrender myself, as I ask for the grace to let go, to just be as I exist in You and You act most intimately on my soul. You are the Initiator. I am the soul waiting Your favors as You act in me. I love You. I adore You. I worship You. Come and possess my soul with Your Divine Grace, as I experience You most intimately.
He poured out Himself in that act.
His whole act was that of giving His will in total surrender.
I ask you to know Jesus in this way of how He willed the salvation of every soul with the selfless giving of Himself in total surrender.
He willed it, He wanted every soul to be saved.
In His perfect consuming desire, He wanted to give Himself completely for the salvation of souls.
There is a purity of Jesus’ willing that we do not have.
I wish to stress the momentum of the act as Christ gave Himself for love of men and the consuming desire and wish to save souls which was in the very act of His selfless giving of Himself.
It is frustrating to be given such knowledge of the will and desire of that God-Man’s offering of Himself on the cross and be unable to express this knowledge in words when it seems so clear in my being exactly how it was from the experience He gave me.
My desire here is to impress upon the reader the purity of desire behind Christ’s selflessly giving of Himself. The God-Man willed this complete offering of Himself in complete purity. He was one in the Father’s will. The words in the Scripture:
Lk.22:42
‘Father,’ he said, ‘if you are willing, take this cup away from me. Nevertheless, let your will be done, not mine.’
and
Mk. 15:34
And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, ‘Eloi, eloi, lama sabachthani?’ which means, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’
may indicate an unwillingness in the minds of some. There was not any of this.
He willed His selfless offering, for He lives perfectly in the Father’s will. They are One.
The purity of the intention of this self giving gives us a greater understanding of the consuming love of Jesus in this act.
Father, Son and Holy Spirit were One willing this act of the Son giving Himself.
Jesus was consumed with love of man.
His love IS. This day His love is as great for us as the day He died on the cross.
I think of a man in a race trying with 100% will to finish first. He is consumed with the desire to finish, he gives his all as much as possible to finish first.
Jesus willed to give Himself as a most pure offering, far excelling any offering that any of us could make.
In experiencing with Him, to the extent He allowed me, His act of selfless giving of Himself. I saw the intention behind the act of Jesus’ wanting to save every soul. His offering was so pure with the intention of doing so in perfect conformity with the Father’s will. We do not have this capacity, but to some extent we can share in this way of willing because our wills are elevated to a greater capacity of loving through the life of sanctifying grace. And we grow in this capacity as we grow in the life of grace. We do partake in this way of willing.
But here again I want to describe the purity of the act of the Son willing the salvation of every soul and to emphasize the act as one of consuming love.
The other revelation I received when I experienced His death on the cross (to the capacity He allowed me) was a sampling of pure love.
There is no imperfection in His love. He loves souls so much and wants them to be saved as the Father wanted from the beginning.
I experienced such love for every soul with a perfection and purity of knowing only love, and from this love I had the desire that every man be saved and live according to the Father’s plan. The love for them and the desire for their salvation has a unity that I cannot describe on paper. God wills man to be with Him in heaven forever. God loves us. God gives man his freedom in this love for us. It is man through unrepented serious sin that condemns himself to life in hell. Because of the justice of God, man must be punished for sin, but God makes clear to man His mercy. His promise to Abraham and the words of Mary in the Magnificat confirm this promise of mercy.
But here again my intention now is to focus on the knowledge revealed to me in this experience of August 4, 1999.
I have an experience of the love of God and the purity of His love, to love men despite their sins.
When taken out of the experience in which my loving capacity was elevated to such a heightened level in Him, I suffer from my imperfections. I love imperfectly. The devil presses in to try to stop me from being loving. The desire was within me to love purely. I knew more of His pure love, but my capacity to love was not the same as when He had given me this great grace. At that time it was as if my imperfections did not exist and the devil was not taunting me to not love more purely.
I experienced this afterwards, a real battle to love as I wanted to and a pulling back in myself for fear I would be hurt and taken advantage of which would cause enormous hurt which I did not think I could bear. I wanted to pull back and protect myself. Whereas when I was in the experience, I only knew love and could go out of myself, loving all without fear. The self focus was not there.
I had been emptied by the effects of the act of loving on me and I only gave selflessly.
Now I am in this more usual state of existing. I experience fear, my imperfections, and lack of energy to just go out of myself and love selflessly.
My self holds me back as I discern what is safe and how I should love or not love. There is an impurity in my loving capacity and I am taunted by the evil one who tells me why it is unsafe to love and trust.
There is a limit to the love I wish to give.
There is a holding back.
There is a wanting to protect myself so I am not hurt.
This state is nothing like the experience I had of tasting His pure love.
It is being engulfed in fear and self doubt. It is full of imperfections. It pulls in, whereas He goes out. It is just hard to describe.
It is more focused on self, less focused on loving selflessly.
1 John 3:2
My dear friends,
we are already God’s children,
but what we shall be in the future
has not yet been revealed.
We are well aware that when he appears
we shall be like him,
because we shall see him as he really is.
Question for married couples and others in intimate relationships:
Q: How do I feel when I am feeling insecure about your love?
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