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twenty-three

Lourdes—And My Own
Marian Experience
 

    Since my first pilgrimage to Lourdes marked a very definitive stage in Mary's dealings with me—in her call to me—I am going to utilize this entry on Lourdes to share with you certain aspects of my Marian experience. In none of my previous books have I shared my spiritual experience in such a direct fashion. I am doing so now only because I believe it is Mary's wish that I do so. May my sharing of Mary's maternal love manifested to me be an occasion for your own reflection on Mary's goodness to you.

    I have always been blessed with a strong devotion to Mary. I feel this gift is one of God's greatest graces given to me. I remember at an early age often repeating the Hail Mary. Later, I was very much attracted to Our Lady's requests at Fatima. I made the five first Saturdays and practiced what I was told were the other aspects of Mary's Fatima message.
 

    After graduating from college I entered the Jesuits. Our first phase of training consists of two years of novitiate—a period in which one is introduced into the spiritual life according to the Jesuit tradition. This first period of Jesuit training marked a very significant growth in my devotion to Mary.

    As I progressed in my Jesuit life over the years, Mary was always a loving, caring mother. I always felt, among other things, that she was a lifeline—always there in a special way at particularly difficult stages of the spiritual journey, not only then, but certainly then. I was not always as loyal a child of Mary as I should have been, but she always kept me aware of her very important role in our lives.

    In early 1989 I was in Europe—destination Rome. As I was traveling toward Italy from Northern Europe, I made plans to stop at Lourdes. I considered this a very special stop on my itinerary.

    As I left Toulouse on the train for Lourdes, it was raining. Not very far from Toulouse, the rain stopped and the sun appeared. I considered this a gift from Mary.
 

    I walked from the Lourdes train station to the Shrine. It was a day in January, sunny and pleasant, but, as would be expected at that time of the year, there were less than 25 pilgrims at the grotto site. The atmosphere was very special. One realized this was a very holy place. I sat on one of the benches and began to pray. All of a sudden, I was deeply impressed with this thought: "I have finally come home." The thought seemed to come from outside of me, similar to an infused idea. I did not fully understand what this idea meant. I had not seriously strayed from God, so the idea of "coming home" did not mean I was returning as a prodigal son. Nor did the idea mean that I had finally found Mary, since, as I have stated above, I have always been blessed with a strong devotion to her. I was, then, somewhat puzzled at what the words "I have finally come home" meant. My experience, however, was a very profound one as I sat there before the grotto of Mary. I wept tears of peace and consolation. This was to be my first experience of the gift of tears at a Marian shrine. Later I would also experience this gift at Fatima, Guadalupe, and Medjugorje. The gift of tears on these occasions would always be in confirmation of a special interior enlightenment.

    In the months that followed, whenever I recalled these words impressed upon me at Lourdes, I was still not sure of their meaning. I did, though, decide to write this book on Mary. I had long wanted to write such a book, but did not feel prepared to do so until now.
 

    I was privileged to be at Fatima for the 75th anniversary of the October 13 apparition of Mary to the three young visionaries—Lucia, Jacinta, and Francisco. I had a conviction that Mary wanted me there at that particular time. That I was able to be present for this momentous occasion was another special gift of Mary to me.
 

    On October 12, the eve of the anniversary day, I was praying in the basilica at Fatima. I was close to the altar. In the sanctuary was a statue of Our Lady of Fatima. I prayed that Mary would draw me closer than ever to the Heart of Jesus and to her own Immaculate Heart. I also prayed that I would be able, as never before, to work for the spread of devotion to the Hearts of Jesus and Mary.

    As I prayed I would often glance at Mary's statue, and when I did, I was often given the gift of tears—I know it was a special gift because I myself had no control over when this would or would not take place. The same thing happened the next day. It was a most profound spiritual experience—even more so than the one at Lourdes.

    On the 13th itself, there were about one million pilgrims present for the anniversary occasion. At communion time of the outdoor Mass I felt a special confirmation of the above-mentioned experience.

    From Fatima I went to Lourdes. This time, unlike my first visit, I was present along with thousands of other pilgrims. It is indeed a special experience to be at Lourdes with so many others for the impressive candlelight rosary procession at night and for other activities. Being personally present amidst all this gives one a sense of why Lourdes has been such an attraction for millions and millions of pilgrims over the years. Again, my experience at the grotto of Our Lady was very special, as was the making of the Way of the Cross on the hill high above the basilicas and the grotto.
 

    A few months after my visits to Fatima and Lourdes I was at the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City. It was another special gift to be able to be there for the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe on December 12. What an inspiration it is to be there on this most special day—to see the Mexican people come from miles and miles away for this feast which is so dear to their hearts. Their devotion to Our Lady is most remarkable. Regarding myself, the entire pilgrimage prior to the feast day was rather subdued—peaceful, but no special experience. I remained in such a state on the feast itself up to and including most of the Mass at the Shrine. Then at communion time I was gifted with the same type of deep experience which had occurred at Lourdes and Fatima. I was rather suddenly struck with a deep conviction that I am protected by Mary's mantle and that I should not be afraid or worry. Again, this interior enlightenment was accompanied by the gift of tears.

    My final pilgrimage was to Medjugorje—December 28, 1992, to January 4, 1993. Again, after prayer, I had developed the conviction that Mary wanted me there for her great feast of January 1st—which, of course, is the feast of Mary, Mother of God. I thought something special would happen on that day, although I did not know precisely what.

    As was the case at Guadalupe, nothing out of the ordinary happened to me on the days previous to January 1. I did not see any phenomena concerning the sun which many pilgrims have observed over the years at Medjugorje. The chain on my rosary did not change to gold—as has occurred with many of the Medjugorje pilgrims. But Mary did have her gift for me. Just as I had hoped, something special did occur on the feast of January 1. At Mass, after receiving communion, I received a profound experience of Mary's motherhood toward me and also a profound conviction of Jesus' love for me. This conviction of Jesus' love for me may be the most special I have ever experienced. Again, these interior enlightenments were accompanied by the gift of tears.

    Later that day I had the great privilege of being present in the choir loft for the daily apparition of Our Lady. Ivan was the only visionary present in Church this particular day. Although I felt extremely blessed to be present for the apparition—which, of course, only Ivan himself could see—I had no special inner experience at this time. Others in our group said they did have a special personal experience at the time of the apparition. My special experience of the day had indeed occurred earlier at Mass.
 

    Since that first visit to Lourdes when I was suddenly struck with the thought, "I have finally come home," much has happened regarding my relationship with Mary. I now believe I know the meaning of those words impressed upon me at Lourdes in January, 1989. More than three years later Mary began to instruct me regarding the precise meaning of those words. She has, in her maternal love for me, entered my life as never before. She has led me to consecrate myself to the Heart of Christ and to her Immaculate Heart in a very meaningful manner. In an extraordinary fashion she has given me a mission to fulfill in the service of Jesus. As she cooperates with the Holy Spirit in my ongoing transformation in Christ, she is leading me along paths which I have never traveled before. I can never thank her adequately for her goodness to me.

    The above constitutes some of the main aspects of my personal Marian pilgrimage over the years. You also have your own Marian experience, and I am sure you have shed your own tears of joy and peace along the way.

    If you have not yet done so, I strongly encourage you to consecrate yourself to the Heart of Jesus and to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. In consecrating yourself to Mary—in entrusting yourself entirely to her—you will be enabling her to lead you ever closer to the Heart of Christ. She will accomplish marvels in you as she aids you, in cooperation with the Holy Spirit, in living out your consecration to the Sacred Heart. Indeed, she will ever be Mother at your side as you come closer to the Father through Christ and in the Holy Spirit.

    I have never been happier, never more at peace, than I presently am. Since Mary has drawn me to consecrate myself to her Immaculate Heart, marvelous changes have taken place within me. She has brought me to the Heart of Jesus in a way I had not experienced before.
 

    If you have given yourself totally to Mary—and this is what consecration to her Immaculate Heart means—you have had similar experiences.

    Having consecrated ourselves to Mary, we feel secure as we rest in her loving, maternal Heart. There she comforts us when we are sad—there she wipes away our tears. There she rejoices with us when we rejoice. There she smiles as we share with her our accomplishments for Christ. There she encourages us when we are fearful. There she strengthens us for the most difficult tasks.

    What a great gift Jesus has bestowed upon us in giving Mary to us as our mother! Let us thank Him each day for this Mother who loves us with an unfathomable love. We must try to grow in the appreciation of this love. The more we do so, the more we want to cry out, "O Mother, how loving, caring, and tender you are! Draw us ever closer to your Immaculate Heart where you accomplish your marvels within us."

end of excerpt

                Excerpts from Tell My People by Fr. Edward J. Carter, S.J.

Call of the Sacred Heart

Jesus: "Tell My People that I wish them to come to My Sacred Heart. I show My Heart as symbol of My great love for My people. So many, however, are cold and indifferent concerning My love for them. Consider all I have done for My people! I suffered a brutal passion and death for them. My Body was unmercifully scourged, My head cruelly crowned with thorns, My hands and feet mercilessly pierced with nails. Oh, how much I suffered in all this—out of love for My Father and the whole human race! Finally, My Heart was pierced with the soldier's lance. From My pierced Heart flowed forth blood and water, symbols of the Eucharist and Baptism. How much My pierced Heart still loves My people! How I long for each to come to My Heart in a return of love! All who do will experience My love in a special way. All who take up their refuge within My Heart will experience love, security, peace, joy. The world cannot give My people these gifts. I, Who am Lord and Master, am the One Who gives these gifts."

Reflection: Jesus tells us how much He loves us and to what lengths He went in His passion and death to show us this great love, this love symbolized by His Heart.

To meditate often upon the passion and death of Christ is to allow His love to more and more take hold of us. The more we allow Jesus to embrace us with His tremendous love for us, the more He draws us within His pierced Heart. Within this Heart is our refuge. Here is our source of enlightenment, of strength, of peace, joy, and happiness.

     

On Being Thankful

Jesus: "My beloved priest-companion, because I love you with a very special love, I have showered you with great gifts. You have cried out to Me in joy. You have told Me how thankful you are for My many special favors. Allowing you to be so thankful is itself a gift I give you. Tell My people that I want them to thank Me every day for all the gifts I have given and continue to give them. Tell them I want them to give themselves to Mary. In her company I want them to approach My Sacred Heart each day. Here I will give them ever greater gifts.

"How much I love My people! How much I long to shower them with My love-laden gifts! Sadly, many do not want to receive My gifts. Those who do, let them come to My Heart, and they will be amazed at what I will do for them! My Heart is an inexhaustible source of graces. Please, My people, I long for you to come and draw from its riches! I am Lord and Master. Please do as I request."

Reflection: Giving thanks to God for all His gifts is one of our great duties as children of God. We should be continually offering thanks to God for all the gifts He has given us and continues to give us through the Heart of Jesus.

   

Image of the Hearts
of Jesus and Mary

Jesus: "My beloved friend, tell My people that I desire them to have pictures or statues of the Sacred Heart and the Immaculate Heart in their homes. This will greatly help them to give honor to Our Hearts. All My churches and chapels should also have these images. I will bestow great blessings on all those who heed My request. I am your Lord and Master. Please do as I ask."

Reflection: We all know the role pictures of loved ones play in maintaining and developing our relationships with these people. Is it strange, then, that Jesus makes the above request?

 

 

Age of the Two Hearts

Jesus: "My beloved priest-companion, I have allowed you to experience in extraordinary fashion the riches contained in My Heart and My Mother's Heart. I desire that you tell all My people about these riches. I desire that My people consecrate themselves to My Sacred Heart and to Mary's Immaculate Heart. My people are living in the beginnings of the age of the Two Hearts.

"After the time of the purification is completed, this new era of the Church and the world will become firmly established. This era will be characterized by the triumph of the Immaculate Heart and the reign of My Sacred Heart. All those who consecrate themselves to My Heart and to My Mother's Heart will help to establish this glorious new age. I am Lord and Master. Please listen to My urgent request. Within Our Hearts you will experience the love and security, the peace and the joy, which you all desire. I love My people with a tremendous love, and in My love I give them this message!"

Reflection: This is the Age of the Two Hearts! The surest road to sanctity in these our times is through consecration to the Hearts of Jesus and Mary. In making this consecration, and striving with God's grace to live it as best we can each day, we are contributing to the establishment of the triumph of the Immaculate Heart and to the arrival of the reign of the Sacred Heart.

 

The Peace of Christ

Jesus: "My beloved priest-companion, tell My beloved people that I am the Divine Giver of peace. I want so much to give My people an even greater sense of peace, but many refuse My offer! They think they know their own way to peace and happiness—a way which is not My way. The further they stray from Me, the more restless they become, and the less true peace they have. My way is the only way to peace.

"My people, come each day to My Sacred Heart. Let Mary lead you to My Heart. The more you dwell within My Heart, the more peace will be yours. I am Lord and Master. Please listen to My words! Do not seek your peace and consolation in worldly pursuits. Come within My Heart, and you will be filled with the peace you so much crave. I will press you to My Sacred Heart. I will tell you how much I love you! The more you realize this love, the more My peace will possess your soul!"

Reflection: The chief fruit of love is peace. The more we open ourselves to the burning love of Jesus' Heart, and respond by loving God and neighbor more and more, the more peace we experience.

  

Reparation for Sin

Jesus: "My beloved priest-companion, tell My people that the ugly face of sin covers the earth as never before in the history of the human race. My image, which should shine forth brilliantly over the whole earth, is seriously marred by the hideousness of sin. My Father's justice demands reparation. Tell My people to offer their actions in reparation for all the sins whereby the Triune God is so much offended. My Heart cries out for reparation, especially for sins committed against My Eucharistic presence. My Heart hates sin, but loves the sinner. All who are sorry for their sins will find in My Heart overflowing graces of mercy.

"My people should receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation often, even if they have no serious sins to confess. The graces of this Sacrament give powerful graces for the fight against temptation. I am Lord and Master. Please do as I request!"

Reflection: In our determination to avoid sin, let us often recall the terrible sufferings which sin caused Our Loving Savior: the cruel crowning with thorns, the tearing of His sacred flesh by the soldiers' merciless scourging, the heartless hammering of nails through His sacred hands and feet, and all the rest. Who can prayerfully look upon the suffering Christ and not be repulsed by the hideousness of sin?

 

Consecration to the Hearts
of Jesus and Mary

Jesus: "My beloved friend, tell My people that I desire all to consecrate themselves to My Sacred Heart and to Mary's Immaculate Heart. Tell them not to just recite words in making the act of consecration, but to realize what they are saying. Consecration to Our Hearts means a total gift of self. It means handing over everything to Me and to My Mother. Consecration means a willingness to surrender completely to Me. In Baptism one is consecrated to Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. But how many fail to live out their consecration! I extend to all the invitation to renew this baptismal consecration through consecration to My Heart and to My Mother's Heart.

"My beloved companion, I have taught you what this consecration means. I have given you great peace, joy, and happiness because you have made this consecration. I have taught you that you are to renew this act of consecration each day, I constantly remind you that you are to pray each day for the grace to more and more live the consecration. I have taught you that your consecration to Me and My Mother means that you constantly surrender yourself to Us and to Our care. I have taught you that the more you surrender yourself to Me, the more I live in you and through you and for you. I have taught you that My great love for you longs to draw you more deeply into My Heart. I have shown you that I wish your Mother Mary to place you there within My Heart, and that the more you dwell within her heart, the more deeply she places you within My Heart. Dwelling within Our Hearts, the Holy Spirit fashions you more and more in My likeness. The Father thus looks upon you with greater favor and takes you more closely to Himself. Tell My people all these wondrous truths. I am Lord and Master, and I desire all to listen to My words!"

Reflection: In the above message, Jesus describes what is involved in living our consecration to the Hearts of Jesus and Mary. What beautiful truths He puts before us! We know that the living out of our consecration is not always easy. Sometimes it is very difficult. At all times, and especially in most difficult times, we should remind ourselves how much Jesus and Mary love us, and that living out our consecration is our "thank you," our return of love.

  

Jesus Asks for Our Love

Jesus: "My beloved companion, tell My people how I long for them to say that they love Me! When they do this, it gives Me great joy. When they tell Me they love Me, I take them close to My Heart. I give them the desire to love Me more and more. I clothe them with fresh graces, increasing their capacity to love God and neighbor. Tell My people to express their love for Me often! I am Lord and Master. Please do as I request!"

Reflection: What a gracious invitation Jesus extends to us! He tells us how much He wants our expressions of love for Him. Perhaps a person has to admit that his or her spouse, or children, or friends, receive expressions of love from him or her more often than does Jesus. This should not be! Jesus has first command on our love. To love Jesus, to tell Him we love Him--this is our privilege and our duty.

 

Humility

Jesus: "My beloved priest-companion, keep telling My people of the great necessity of humility in the spiritual life. My saints, oh, how they realized the importance of this virtue!

"The world is filled with pride. Pride is the refusal to serve God. It is the refusal to do My Father's will. There is so much sin in today's world because there is so much pride.

"Tell My people to come to My Heart each day. There I will teach them the lesson of humility. There I will show them the riches which flow from humility! There I will teach them that the more they grow in humility, the more peace and joy and happiness they experience. Yes, let My people come to My Heart and learn these lessons. I am Lord and Master, and I desire that all respond to My request. I love My people with a tremendous love, and in this love I give them this message!"

Reflection: Humility is an important aspect of the Gospel message. Following are three such examples:

"Come to me, all you who labor and are overburdened, and I will give you rest. Shoulder my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Yes, my yoke is easy and my burden light" (Matthew 11:28-30).

"Anyone who chooses the world for his friend turns himself into God's enemy. Surely you don't think scripture is wrong when it says: the spirit which he sent to live in us wants us for himself alone? But he has been even more generous to us, as scripture says: God opposes the proud but he gives generously to the humble" (James 4:4-6).

"What do you have that was not given to you? And if it was given, how can you boast as though it were not?" (1 Corinthians 4:7).

  

The Indwelling of the Trinity

Jesus: "My beloved priest-companion, I have given you a great desire to pray to the Divine Persons many times during the day. This can be done in a way which does not interfere with your daily duties. Rather, you have learned that this prayerful contact with Father, Son, and Holy Spirit enhances your ability to work for God and neighbor. Remind My people that when one is in the state of grace, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit dwell within that person in a most special way. We are within those in the state of grace to receive their acts of faith, hope, and love.

"So many of My people are not aware of the precious treasure which dwells within them! Tell My people to pray for a growing awareness of this marvelous truth! Through the graces which flow from the great love of My pierced Heart, My people are called to develop the greatest intimacy with the Divine Persons. Please, do not waste these graces! I am Lord and Master, and in My great love, I ask that all comply with My request!"

Reflection: In the Gospel of John, Jesus tells us:

"If anyone loves me he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we shall come to him and make our home with him" (John 14:23).

Jesus does not explicitly mention the indwelling of the Holy Spirit in this particular passage. However, we know that, where the Father and Son reside, so also does the Spirit.

In the above message from Jesus, He speaks to us about this truth of the Indwelling of the Blessed Trinity in the souls of the just. What a tremendous gift! How much do we appreciate this gift? Do we take the means to develop our relationship with the Divine Persons Who dwell within? Many would go all out for the opportunity to receive one of the world's dignitaries into their homes. When we are in the state of grace, the Divine Persons grace us with Their presence. What a tremendous dignity is bestowed upon us! Sadly, many seem to be more enthused about being in the presence of this world's dignitaries than they are regarding the presence of the Triune God!

  

The Power to Love

Jesus: "My beloved friend, tell My people how much I long to draw all of them to My Mother's Heart and to My Heart! I do this to the extent they allow Me to do so. The more My people come to Our Hearts, the more I empower them to love God and neighbor.

"I desire that all within the human family be united through deep bonds of love. Many refuse to enter into this union of love with their neighbor. That is why there is so much hatred and division in today's world between nations, within nations, within families, between individuals.

"There are, however, many of My people who, because of their growing union with Me, are increasing their capacity to love each other. There is being developed a strong core who are helping to spread love around the world. As these people dwell in Mary's Heart and My Heart, they are helping to bring about the great new era of the renewed Church and world. When the purification of Church and world is completed, this great era of peace and love, predicted by My Mother at Fatima, will be characterized by the triumph of her Immaculate Heart and the reign of My Sacred Heart, and love will pervade the earth as never before.

"I am Lord and Master. Listen to these words I am giving to you. Live these words! As you dwell in Mary's Heart and My Heart, love one another with the deepest love! I love My people with a tremendous love, and in this love I give them this message."

Reflection: In Christ, God calls us to the most profound union with the Persons of the Trinity and with each other. In The First Letter of John we see the enormity of this calling:

"We can be sure that we know God only by keeping his commandments. Anyone who says, 'I know him,' and does not keep his commandments, is a liar, refusing to admit the truth. But when anyone does obey what he has said, God's love comes to perfection in him. We can be sure that we are in God only when the one who claims to be living in him is living the same kind of life as Christ lived....

"Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the dark. But anyone who loves his brother is living in the light and need not be afraid of stumbling; unlike the man who hates his brother and is in the darkness, not knowing where he is going, because it is too dark to see" (1 John 2:3-11).

  

Mother of Our Christian Virtues

Mary: "My beloved priest-son, I wish all my children to come to my Immaculate Heart each day. I cooperate with the Holy Spirit in helping all my little ones to grow in the life of the Christian virtues. As my children dwell within my maternal Heart, the Holy Spirit leads them along the path of the virtues. Faith, hope, love, prudence, justice, fortitude, temperance, humility, chastity, and the other virtues take deeper root in the hearts of my children. Above all, the queen of the virtues, love, increasingly rules the lives of my little ones.

"I am ever at the side of my children to help them grow in the life of the virtues. As I do so, I place them more deeply within the Heart of Jesus, the source of growth in all the virtues. The Holy Spirit, then, desires that my children dwell both within my Heart and Jesus' Heart. Within Our Hearts He clothes you with growth in the life of the virtues. The more you dwell in my Heart, the more ready you are for my placing you deeply within the Heart of Jesus where the Holy Spirit clothes you more and more with the splendor of all the virtues. Thus you grow in the likeness of Christ, and Jesus unites you more closely to the Father."

Reflection: Since Mary is our spiritual Mother, she has a special God-given role in helping us grow in the life of the Christian virtues. As she tenderly and lovingly leads us in the life of the virtues, she is our great model in how to follow Christ. She lived the Christian virtues perfectly. She is so eager to help us increasingly put on Christ through a more dynamic living of the Christian virtues, especially the virtue of love.

 

Work to Make Your World Better

Jesus: "My beloved companion, remind My people of their responsibility toward the world. They have a duty to try to make this a better world for all to live in.

"Today there is much which is wrong with the world. Sin covers the face of the earth. Sins of all kinds blemish the goodness of My Father's creation.

"However, My Mother and I are increasingly gathering our forces for the battle against Satan and his followers. We are more and more forming Our followers to wage the battle to win back that part of the world dominated by Satan's influence. We are forming our followers in the ways of love. We are forming Our followers with the grace which flows from the bosom of My Father, through My Heart, given in the Holy Spirit, and distributed through the intercession of the maternal and Immaculate Heart of Mary.

"We are forming Our followers to give themselves in the greatest love for God and neighbor. We are bringing them ever more closely to Our Hearts so that they may draw from the flames of love of My Heart and Mary's Heart! The more My followers dwell in Mary's Heart and My Heart, the more they are enlightened and strengthened to give themselves for the salvation of the world.

"I am Lord and Master. I ask all to follow Me and My Mother to help us bring forth the great age of love and peace for the world. This age will emerge after the phase of purification has been completed. This age will be characterized by the triumph of Mary's immaculate Heart and the reign of My Sacred Heart. In this great new age, soon to come, My people will love and praise My Father, with Mary and through Me and in the Holy Spirit, as never before!

"I love My people with a tremendous, burning love, and in this love I give them this message!"

Reflection: The world belongs to Christ. St. Paul tells us about this:

As he is the Beginning, he was first to be born from the dead, so that he should be first in every way, because God wanted all perfection to be found in him, and all things to be reconciled through him and for him, everything in heaven and everything on earth, when he made peace by his death on the cross (Colossians 1:18-20).

Since the world belongs to Christ, we, who are His followers, must have a great love for the world as created and redeemed by God. We must labor through our participation in the Mass and through all our other prayers and good works to more and more help the Christic image of the world to shine forth in ever greater splendor. This is our duty and our privilege. Out of love for God and neighbor, let's resolve to get on with the task!

end of excerpts

    

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