MY EXPERIENCES

I am filled with overwhelming love for God on the beach in the Bahamas. I realized the immensity of the Almighty God and how little we are compared to Him. As a little grain of sand on the seashore, a drop in the vast ocean, yet He, in all His immense love, comes and gives Himself to us! His great love becomes apparent. Jesus took on a human nature for love of us.

Sometimes I feel very enlightened. When I feel enlightened, I see everything with such clarity. I see insights into His mysteries. It can be compared to the light of the sun. The sun is so bright and blinding, and we see every detail. It is so blinding, we feel the immensity of its power.

He releases His grace, His light, with a deep, deep light, and I see with the deepest clarity. I am wrapped in the love of all three Persons. To be as it were - one in this love, it overtakes me, and I know only love-the all encompassing love of God. I am, and I do not want anything, only to serve Him and give myself over in entire abandonment to Him. It is a state of knowing, with deepest clarity, the things of God. I call it a light. I am indeed in the light, for I am in the presence of God and I know it. I know Him in deepest oneness. I am aware of myself, my littleness, and I am aware of His love as I become overtaken by perfect love. He is Love. I experience different things at different times. I remember last year in December '94/January '95 having such a presence. It was such an awareness of God and knowing with such clarity the things of God as it said in Nb. 24:4:

…He sees what Shaddai makes him see,
receives the divine answer,
and his eyes are opened.

This is exactly what I experience when I am in this light. The last one was the greatest, when I was so satisfied and knew what it was to be one in Him, to know the magnificence of His life. I have had a constant presence of this since Dec. 15. I see in my heart a red cavern. It is warm. I feel power. His power flows from me in this union. It is He Who acts in me. I connect with the presence of the Father and the Holy Spirit working in the heart of Mary and my spiritual director and all others. My heart is empowered beyond comprehension for I am as I am in Him. I can envision Jesus and me-His Heart is red and yellow glow, and I am empowered, wishing only the will of God and being satisfied with the outcome, knowing it is His will when I am in Him. His circle is without bounds. It is more I am in a red cavity, surrounded by a yellow glow - it is an endless feeling of penetration. It empowers me for I am IN HIM!

Last year I experienced the presence of the Trinity seven times from the first Saturday in December until January 19. I felt such shame for not trying harder to spread the Good News and His love. All I wanted to do was to spread His burning love. Each time I am in this light I vow to do all I can to spread His love, for I know Him with such intimacy and I want all to know Him. I know the truth. I have been touched by the Almighty God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It is up to me, as His apostle, to go out to the world and to spread His love. I just love Him so much, I want others to know His burning love.

Men did not believe Jesus. I experience the presence of God and sometimes suffer very much. I know the sufferings of Mary and Jesus to a small degree.

I have had my heart jabbed with swords and experienced the agonies, to a small degree, of Jesus in the garden, Mary under the cross, the Sorrowful Mother. I experience the indifference to the Eucharist. I know something of the Heart of Jesus that cries out for His beloved souls to love Him and treasure His presence in the Eucharist. I experience the heart of His Mother that calls out for her little, sick children. I have experienced her heart as she held Him under the cross and touched the lifeless skin of the little boy she once carried. I know the oneness between Their Hearts and why He wants His Heart venerated next to hers.

The light shines, so many intimacies I have had with my Divine Lover. I have been swept away by the Father's love during the Mass and felt all through the Mass the great miracle as it takes place. In my whole being, I know my Divine Lover. I know His sufferings and feel ecstatically united to Him, especially in the Mass. I have the presence of the Trinity and I feel the emotions of Their Hearts. I only hope that the world can share these deep insights into the Hearts of Jesus and Mary.

I know my God and what He speaks to me and I have united to Him in this intimate act of love. His love casts out all fear, for to know Him is to be without fear. He is. He exists, and He is alive with all the magnificence and wonder of a Divine Being. Our feeble hearts and minds cannot even comprehend, in a small sense, the magnificence of God, but He gives the grace and in one instance I see with the eyes of God. I am enraptured with eyes unveiled, and in that moment, He gives to me His gifts and His love.

Oh, that this world may know more and more His wondrous works, His power and His might, His love, His divine life. May the Holy Spirit descend on the earth so that the earth will be reborn with the fire of God's love!

The light comes and goes, the clouds go over the earth, but His magnificence is forever with us. His light is always existent. I want to live, dwelling in the burning cavity of His endless love, in oneness with the heart of Mary, so that I can embrace this Almighty God.

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Copyright © 1997 Shepherds of Christ Ministries
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the written permission of the publisher. For information contact Shepherds of Christ Publications
First Printing: September, 1997