ABOUT THE MAGNIFICAT

Written at 6:45 p.m. at All Saints:

I had such an experience and was overwhelmed by the love of Jesus.

Written later at 8:30 a.m. at Mass:

Fr. Carter spoke about the Magnificat today in the Gospel. It made me cry. This is exactly how I have felt - so little, like a speck, but under the cross at Holy Cross-Immaculata Catholic Church on December 15, I was not little. He had raised me to such heights in Him. It was as if I was elevated in the corner of His burning Heart, and I was existing in Him and being in Him!

I cried hardest at the Consecration - I am so aware of heaven and what is going on, filled with deep, deep emotion at the miracle taking place as I unite myself in this sacrifice with Him. I die more and more to myself and unite to Him. Such emotion, for it is in the Mass I am being more deeply one in Him, dying to myself and uniting to Him.

After Mass, I was surrounded by His love, joined in His embrace as at Holy Cross-Immaculata Catholic Church under the cross. I do not care who is there - I am lost in Him. He and heaven are all that exist to me. He and His Heart - I did not feel sorrow. I felt His embrace as if He pressed me to Himself. It was as if I felt the thorns surrounding His Heart press into me. Now my heart really hurts. My heart hurts so badly right now.

I feel the thorns that surround His Heart. I will forever feel these thorns when I look on His Heart surrounded by thorns. The thorns press into His most adorable Heart. They press for the neglect and indifferences shown to Him, especially in His sacrament of greatest love, the Eucharist.

I am so weak. I am wiped out. I know many agonies and many joys in the Mass. I know His deep love and the excruciating pain He suffered. I know what it is to be embraced by His love and feel the thorns pressed against my heart. I know the Almighty God in such a way I cannot even write here.

After Communion, I felt embraced, deeply, by the presence of God and satisfied, but I felt pain in my heart.

I remember Christmas 1993, the pain was so excruciating. It started at church, and I went home and wanted to scream or express it in some way. I went to my room before my big Sacred Heart picture that was with me when I wrote, and the pain was unbearable. I will never forget it. It is from these experiences I intimately know my beloved Lord.

I feel it is Jesus and I. I can share with Mary too. How she knows His Heart. I can't really share the deep, deep place I have been with anyone. Jesus knows I remember the intimate times with Him in Mary's House at the Center - so many wonderful experiences with my Divine Lover as He revealed the deep insights into His life, His love, His sufferings, and Mary revealed the insights and intimacies between her and her Son. She revealed her suffering and so much more. I now am experiencing deep insight into them here at Holy Cross-Immaculata Catholic Church, especially under the cross and at the 12th station. This is how it was this morning before the tabernacle. I was embraced, as I was here, to a small degree with His divine love. I am wiped out now.

Mary, as I meditate on the mysteries of the rosary, you, who dwell in His Heart and know His Heart, share what you know of God with me that I may love Him and share in His love.

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Copyright © 1997 Shepherds of Christ Ministries
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the written permission of the publisher. For information contact Shepherds of Christ Publications
First Printing: September, 1997