HE GIVES US GREAT GIFTS

My heart was hurting on the way down, after Communion. It hurts now. I realize how much I want to be loved and told that I am loved.

My heart hurts. Jesus, too, wants so deeply to be loved by us. He wants us to tell Him of our love.

He gives to us such great gifts. He gives us the gift of Himself, and we are so ungrateful. He wants us to be thankful, to love Him.

There is such intimacy between Him and me. (to try to share this heartache with the world is to be laughed at and scorned, but I see Him laying on the ground and His hands nailed to the cross. I see Him, His hand on the cross. I see Him placed in the arms of His Mother, dead. I see Him laid in the tomb. I feel this ache in my heart now - it feels as if it will not go away.

I love Him so much. I am so connected to His pain and her pain. I have felt His overwhelming love.

I understand the death-resurrection. I understand and have experienced the heartache, the pain so deep and unexplainable in words or actions. I understand the ecstasy to feel the overwhelming love of God the Father and to know His love, to know how He has taught me so much and He created me.

I know the love of the Son, my beloved Bridegroom, the tenderness, the intimacy, the knowing, deep within me, undescribable by any words or actions. By being in such oneness with Him, I love Him so deeply.

I know the love of the Holy Spirit. I love Him so much. He is my best Friend. He moves in me and gives me His love, His wisdom, His knowledge. I feel His presence forever with me, a vibrating force within me.

I feel, I feel, I feel - I know, I know, I know, it is not words spoken, it is oneness to unite with the Almighty God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. My God, my beloved God, my sweet God, God is in my whole heart, my whole soul, and my whole being.

I know God. I love God. I seek God. God, God, God - my All! My delight to exist in Him!

Oh burning Heart, oh love Divine, how sweet You are to me.

We are the messengers to carry the message of His burning love to this world.

Many men have made this world their end. They are dying inside from the lack of real life, life rooted in Him.

I cry out from my aching heart. I love my God, I surrender, I sacrifice myself to You. I want to tell all the Good News. I am backed against a wall and I surrender. I endure all You send me and love You more for this suffering. It is in suffering I am so close to Thee. I love You, I love You, I love You.

On Pentecost, my heart ached for about one and a half hours. It felt as if there was a sword in it. On Pentecost, I suffered this ache in my heart, for her heart ached constantly from the time of the prophesy of Simeon. I understand some of her pain in my heart.

He opened Himself up to us.

Do you know what it is to love and be rejected?

He gave Himself. His Heart was pierced with a lance and what flowed out was blood and water, His blood pointing to the Eucharist, the water pointing to Baptism! His Heart poured out His great mercy and love. He opened Himself. He gave Himself. He knows our heart far better than we know our own heart, yet we remain so closed to Him.

How can we hide from God? God, who knows and loves us? We are given a free will. We can chose to love Him, or not. Many times in our arrogance and pride we shut ourselves off from Him.

Jesus says, "…I am the Way; I am Truth and Life…" (Jn. 14:6) Yet we remain so closed, we lack trust, we lack faith.

He is on fire for love of us. We must not give into the devil who tempts us to give into negative thinking. Jesus loves us so much. We should take our precious moments to tell Him how much we love Him. We must have faith in His love for us.

I just want to be in the red room, the deepest chamber of His burning Heart. It was so real.

He is alive in our lives. We must meditate on His life. We want to live in Him. We want to identify all of our actions with His actions. We identify our sufferings with His. We live His life in our lives. We carry out His life, death, and Resurrection in our lives.

My heart hurt before Mass tonight at Holy Cross-Immaculata Catholic Church.

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Copyright © 1997 Shepherds of Christ Ministries
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the written permission of the publisher. For information contact Shepherds of Christ Publications
First Printing: September, 1997